Moore to Love

Marriage #FAIL

2012-01-31T10:42:00.004-05:00

We have a family calendar in our kitchen. At the beginning of each month I populate it. In an effort to keep it from getting cluttered with details we don’t track doctors appointments and basketball games/practices on it, but we do highlight major events such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, special outings, trips, etc. We track all the detailed stuff on our family gmail calendar so that Dirt and I can have access to the same calendar when we’re someplace other than our kitchen.

On January first I wrote out this calendar. Fine. It looks like someone erased Dirt’s birthday from the 15^th, and added an important Celtics game, but other than that it’s pretty standard. I highlighted Amaya’s chapel date so we’d all remember that she had to dress up and I put a big red heart on the 31^st, symbolizing our anniversary…cause I’m romantic like that.

Last week I invited a friend over for dinner on Tuesday, but then quickly cancelled because I remembered that Tuesday was our anniversary. In the back of my mind, I figured maybe Dirt and I could slip out for a bite to eat together.

Yesterday my mom texted me, “Happy Anniversary – you guys should use the gift card I gave you to do to dinner”…I texted back, “yup, that’s what we are planning to do tomorrow!” Yay!

Yesterday I stopped at KTP to see if I could pick up a little anniversary something to surprise my sweetheart – some slippers – a simple, yet loving gesture. (We had already agreed that the fantastical new bed we bought ourselves in July would be our “anniversary gift”).

This morning I woke up and went through my normal routine. I stepped into the kitchen and saw the heart on the calendar and then bolted upstairs to wish my handsome hubby a happy anniversary. I hopped on the bed, kissed his sleepy cheek, and cheerfully said, “Happy Anniversary”. …as the words rolled off my tongue I felt a sudden sense of confusion. “Wait, is today our anniversary, or was it on the 30^th?”

He smiled, “it was yesterday. I can’t believe we went through the whole day without saying happy anniversary to each other. I thought about it in the morning and as I was about to call you, I got busy with something else, then I thought about it again in the evening, but you went to bed early last night”

“Oops. Well, I have been thinking about it for a week, I just had it pegged on the wrong day. So…dinner tonight?”

“Yup”.

All I have to say is that we’re just so crazy in love that dates have lost all meaning to us! It’s good to be so in love with my best friend. I thank God for giving me such an amazing husband to walk this adventure we call “life” with. There have been so many times in the last year, where I have realized how dependent I am on him. I would be completely lost without him. He is truly my knight in shining armor.

Attitude Is Everything

2012-01-27T21:48:00.001-05:00

Amaya is the boss. Each situation she encounters requires that she retains at least 51% of the control. Unfortunately this means that I have to compromise a lot. A LOT. In any given situation I can only exert up to 49% of control without a huge meltdown or argument. The average amount of control I have is about 17%.

There was one thing I needed her to do for me this week. I needed for her to be my photography model to test out my Valentine's Day ideas. This was no easy feat. I was going to need her to wear the clothes that I selected (Sponge Bob PJs were not an option), wear the shoes that i selected (Snow boots were not an option), and wear her hair the way I wanted it (combed, pig tails, red ribbon hair bows). After pleading with her, I got the outfit, I didn't get the boots, and the hair was making her look like this in the face:

Exactly. Not very festive.

So…we compromised and I put her hair in piggie-buns (I just made that up). Once she exercised control over her hair, she was a new kid.

See?

She even took her snow boots off. (Of course I didn't get her to put on the shoes I wanted her to wear - actually I was too exhausted to even broach the subject with her - I was just happy that she removed the snow boots - I figured I could live with bare feet).

She looks so sweet and innocent, but don't be fooled, this chick is a dictator.

A very cute dictator.

Ignorance is Bliss

2012-01-13T13:57:00.002-05:00

I enjoy the little world of ignorant bliss in which I live. I stay away from the news, scary movies, TV dramas and anything else that might give me an indication that the world really is an awful place. I have developed an affinity for a drama-free existence and I strive to remain outside of the drama-zone at all times. I’m not built for drama. My constitution is weak and unable to handle it. Stress has her way with me and she often brings along her ugly side-kick, fear, and they gang up on me and wreak havoc. I get headaches, heart palpitations, stomach aches, take shallow breaths – I can’t sleep, I feel anxious, overwhelmed, confused, and edgy. I overeat, withdraw, and generally feel like I’m going to keel over and die at any given moment. I’m a real prize to live with.

So, you can imagine my disposition when I received a call from our agency on Monday informing me that there was a “miscommunication” regarding our adoption. In fact, our adoption was not approved; the judge had issued a negative opinion on our case because there was a document missing from our file. [gulp]

I went numb.

Our agency planned to track down the missing document this week and the judge was scheduled to review our case again on Friday. Our agency expected us to pass on Friday. Five long days away.

Um.

How does this happen? Why? What the heck? All very good and valid questions – but I couldn’t ask them. The answers didn’t matter anyway. All I could do is look to my Heavenly Father who controls all things and say, “I trust You” (Proverbs 3:5).

I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone about what was happening. I smiled weakly as people continued to offer “congratulations” and ask if I had heard anything about when we could bring him home. I wanted to hide under my covers (in fetal position with thumb in mouth) until Friday. It’s only by the grace of God that I was walking around faking my way through life. (Isaiah 25:9)

I spoke to Biruk on Wednesday and of course he wanted an update on when we would get our Embassy appointment. Yikes. Dirt and I were in complete agreement that we were not going to tell him what had happened. We wanted to protect him from the disappointment that we were feeling. Why put him through this when all could potentially be resolved by Friday? I honestly didn't even want to know.

Last night I shared our story with a few of my close prayer warriors because I knew they would intercede on our behalf and to quote a bumper sticker I recently saw, “PRAYER CHANGES STUFF”. I needed peace and I needed our case to pass today. Since God hears the prayers of the righteous (Proverbs 15:29) and He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4) – these girls would hold us up in prayer and get the job done.

Today our caseworker called with her wonderful sing-songy voice. She said “Congratulations…you’re adoption is approved”. Are you sure? “Yes”.

Praise God. Our official adoption date is 1/13/12. Hallelujah.

Next stop: Embassy.

My adjusted prediction for travel to Ethiopia: March 22 (but of course, praying for sooner!).

1 Week Down.

2012-01-03T22:54:00.009-05:00

It has been a week since we received the amazing news that we passed court. We are still on cloud nine...or eleven...or four-hundred-and-seventy-two. We're elated.

As happy as we are, I can't help but think about the thoughts going through Biruk's head right now. The dreams of his future. I wonder if he looks at his current surroundings and thinks, "just a little while more". I wonder if it's getting harder for him to endure his current situation, knowing that the time is drawing near for him to be here with his family. What is he most looking forward to? (When I ask him, he tells me "being with my family; you and dad and my sisters and brother") ...but what else is he looking forward to? Xbox? Free internet? McDonalds? Going to school without taking an hour-long taxi ride? Snow? Who knows?! What is he dreading? Missing his friends, His language, His independence? The sunshine? The slow pace of life? His dog Bob? Ethiopian food? What are the things that he will long for when he is here and how will we help him through that?

As you can see, I daydream a lot.

But then, in the middle of my dreaming, I receive a message from him like the one below...

My Precious mom I am sure this finds you all in the very best of health, love and peace of mind from our lord Jesus Christ. I am pretty good. So mom after you became to my life by God willing my fillied with much love, joy and hope and It make my heart always joyful so mom i feel luck and happy God to Blessed me with such kind of you woundederful mom and i thankful God for this. I wish you all the best to be happen in your life happy New year my precious mom and all my Family I love you so much more i can't wait to get you mom Happy New Year Love Biruk Moore

...and it reminds me that it really is all about family. He really does just want to be with the family that he belongs to. ...and we feel the exact same way. We are so blessed to call him our son. Thank you God, for giving us this honor and privilege.

Finally FOUR!

2011-12-28T23:48:00.002-05:00

Today the courts confirmed what God had already ordained in our hearts. Biruk became our son. Officially. Dirt and I are beaming.

..this also means that we can finally, officially show pictures of our son on our blog. He is ours! (this is the most recent picture I have, taken last month - though he tells me he's grown in the last few weeks)

The phone rang just after noon today. My social worker is out of the office this week, but told me that if they heard anything, another SW would call me. Gladney’s name appeared on my cell phone and I quickly answered. The voice was super up-beat. If it were my normal SW I would have known this meant good news. I had come to discern her good news voice from her bad news voice within the first three syllables. As the woman introduced herself to me, all I could think is if she didn’t have good news, she needed to tone down the happiness in her voice – because she just sounded too chipper to deliver bad news. As my thoughts rambled on I heard her say the word, “approved”.

I interrupted, “Did you just say that our adoption is approved?”

She confirmed.

Praise God!!!!!!!!!

Then I have no idea what else she said. Maybe something about filling out forms and a timeline for our embassy appointment. She’d later need to recap all that in an email. I literally felt the stress drain from my body. I remember saying, “I can breathe again” (she probably found that to be a very inappropriate response to whatever she was saying – but all I could feel was relief and joy).

God, did this really just happen? All those prayers. Did you finally say yes? Today? December 28^th was the day you chose for us? Thank you for saying yes.

Okay, who to call first, Dirt or Biruk?

I glanced at the time, it was 12:12…just after 8pm in Addis – Biruk might be going to sleep soon- I figured I’d call him first, then we could try to conference Dirt in so the three of us could chat together. (Brilliant, I know).

When Biruk picked up I immediately blurted out that we got approved. He replied, “What?”

“We got approved, the judge approved our adoption”

“Seriously?”

“Yes!”

…giggles, laughing…”I am so happy”

“Me too”.

Then we tried to conference in Dirt. No answer on the cell or the office number. Impossible. How could he not be available?

Biruk and I chatted for a little while longer, laughing and talking about how today was the best day ever. He said things like, “Am I dreaming?” ,“I was already your son”, and “When can I come home”….but mostly we just laughed and released all the stress and anxiety we had been carrying around for the past several weeks.

We tried Dirt again, but got nothing. I couldn’t contain myself anymore, I wanted to shout our good news from the rooftops – so I called my friend and prayer warrior Heather. She picked up the phone anticipating news from me – when I told her that Biruk and I were on the line and that our adoption was approved, she squealed and cried. It was the perfect reaction.

Biruk and I ended our call with me praying – lots of praises to God and prayers for a quick embassy process. Lord, please bring him home soon.

According to my agency, the current average wait time for Embassy appointment is as follows: Families whose adoptions were finalized recently waited 4-6 weeks on average from time of finalization of their adoptions to their files being submitted to the US Embassy, 1-2 weeks on average from time of submission of their files to the Embassy to receiving an initial response from the Embassy (letting the families know if anything additional is needed for their cases, if their cases have been forwarded to USCIS in Nairobi, Kenya, or if their cases have been cleared), and 1-2 weeks on average between time of clearance from the Embassy and their scheduled Embassy appointments (depending on the Embassy’s available appointments and a family’s availability to travel).

Our agency has 22 families ahead of us that are waiting for an embassy appointment.

We are praying that Biruk will be home soon. I last saw him on March 1, 2011 – when we said “see you later” at the Bole Airport in Ethiopia. I would like to have a 1-year anniversary of that day at the same place.

I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. 1 Samuel 1:27

Catching Up: December

2011-12-25T21:05:00.004-05:00

I guess it goes without saying that I haven’t blogged in a while. This month has been one of the most intense months of my life and I’m not sure how to give a sensible recap.

There were several “I should be blogging about this” moments that took place, but seriously, if I had blogged through this past month you probably would have diagnosed me with mild schizophrenia. Maybe not even mild, perhaps full-blown cat-lady crazy.

Overall it was a pretty crappy month. Things fell apart in a few arenas, I took on the stress of a rent payment (studio), I was beyond busy with a Christmas photo rush, my computer crashed with Christmas pictures of five families on it (photos retrieved by super-hero husband, but computer RIP), oh..and CHRISTMAS (which is a beautiful holiday, but let’s face it - it’s no Labor day – Christmas has a whole lotta prep work!).

…and the adoption debacle. [sigh]

I drifted between anxiety and peace all month. Anxiety = feeling like I couldn’t breathe, difficulty sleeping, sadness, anger, nervousness. Peace = His sweet precious peace that surpassed all understanding – unexplainable.

I meandered in and out of these emotions without any control. One moment I'd be calm and the next I needed to take deep breaths just to prove that I wasn’t suffocating under the weight of the anvil of stress on my chest.

I showed up at a women’s tea only to break down in tears in the parking lot. Once I thought I had it together I bravely walked in and was fine until someone said “hi” to me (the nerve). Poor girl walked into the eye of the storm with that comment. I broke down and began weeping.

..and that was just the beginning. I cried at work, I cried at home, I cried in the car, I cried in bed, I cried in front of my kids, I cried behind closed doors, I cried in the living room, in my office, the kitchen, the mudroom, the bedroom, at church, on the phone, and inside of a mouse’s right shoe. (Not really the last one, I just wanted to see if you were paying attention). I was a big cry baby. And it wasn’t pretty.

Last night I was sharing with Dirt how frustrating it is to pray so fervently for something, only to see the exact opposite happen. That has pretty much been my story this month. I prayed for an early approval of our case and instead, we are sitting here 10 days after our court date with no approval. I am bearing the weight of my own disappointment, and also the weight of B’s disappointment (and fear). It’s a lot to bear. I know it’s not mine to carry; he belongs to the Lord and the Lord loves him more than I do – BUT my heart can’t help but feel that pain with him and for him. If you’re a mom, you get this.

The events of this month have prompted me to examine my life. What is God trying to show me/teach me? Why isn’t He answering my prayers? What do I need to learn so we can move on already? I am reading His word daily, praying daily (constantly?), fasting, trying extra-hard not to sin, and trying to listen for His voice and obey it. I am closer to Him now than ever before, yet He won’t answer my simple prayer….a prayer that would glorify him. So what gives?

Dirt says that THAT is the blessing. Being close to the Lord is what He wants and ultimately what I should want. [stinknuts]

Last Saturday I designed our Christmas cards with a verse that has meant different things to me over the years, Isaiah 40:31, “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Today that verse means that I am thankful that I’m in the midst of the storm. Even though I hate it with everything in me (I hate it, I hate it, I hate it – foot stomp/arms crossed), I know that He is perfect and if I continue to draw near to him, wait on Him, hope in Him, and trust Him, then He will make me strong.

Thank you God for your promises. You are good.

Disclaimers:

I will not be offended if you don’t want to say “Hi” to me for a while.
My thoughts today do not necessarily represent my thoughts tomorrow or any day thereafter. I could revert back to crying crazy again at any moment.

Our First Date

2011-11-09T20:48:00.008-05:00

I could sill hear his words, "mom...sometimes when I think about you , I cry". "why?" (duh) "because I miss you".

I miss you too.

The conversation was just two days ago. I could tell that he was growing weary...he asked if I had called our agency to inquire about our court date. I assured him I had.

I know his struggle, it's my struggle too. The wait is exhausting.

Today, as I was packing up to leave work, I glanced down at my cell phone and noticed a missed call from my social worker. Could it be? My heart fluttered!

Without listening to my voicemail I called her. No answer. I checked my voicemail and heard her happy voice (she gets kind of sing songy when she has good news. I love her sing songy voice). She left me a message explaining that our Family court date is Dec 1st, our final court date is Dec 14th. The 14th is the date that we would normally travel for...but she didn't think that we'd have to travel because we had already received permission from the judge to not travel....so there is a slight chance...if the judge were to find favor with our case...maybe...just maybe we could completely pass court on Dec 1st. That is best case scenario. The other scenario is that the judge decides that I actually do need to come for the court date, and on Dec 2nd I make travel arrangements to go to Eth to attend court on 12/14. Yikes. Not my favorite plan.

Then what?

We'll...since it wouldn't be international adoption unless there were a gazillion variables, here are some potential scenarios:

1) we pass court on 12/1, get submitted to embassy, get an embassy date on Jan 15th, I travel to Eth to get B and bring him home. (this is my favorite)

2) we pass court on 12/15, bring B home around Jan 30th.

3) we pass court, our embassy papers take the long route, and B comes home end of Feb or early March (not my favorite)

4) we don't pass court. (I can't even go there)

Soooo...please join me in praising the Lord for all he has done and in praying that we can pass on 12/1 and take the short route to embassy. We're ready for our son to be home.

Happy 6th Birthday Amaya

2011-11-01T17:07:00.005-04:00

Amaya,

Today we went to your doctors appointment and your doctor was impressed by how smart and wonderful you are. He told you that you were doing a great job staying healthy and you beamed with pride. Then we went to Dunkin' Donuts for your favorite breakfast (Egg & Cheese on a Croissant), then we came home and I straightened your hair (a very special birthday treat). After you admired yourself for a while we played photography and we took these pictures. Then it was lunchtime and I let you choose where you wanted to go...you chose the McDonalds with the Playplace...so off we went.

I love being with you. I am so thankful that we spent your 6th birthday together. Praising God for you today, and always my littlest girl.

Mom

Tweenagers

2011-10-24T23:12:00.002-04:00

On Saturday I had an early photo shoot with a family at Fort Foster.

It looked like it was going to be a decent day for pictures, so I tried to book another family after the first session - the whole killing of two birds with one stone thing. I have a ton of families who have mentioned wanting fall shoots - but there really ain't much fall left.

All three families declined the time slot due to other commitments or whatever. ...and since Renee was coming with me to shoot the first family we decided we'd bring along our tweens and do a tween session.

Avery and Ellie are ridiculously cute. They are so much fun when they're together.

I'm so thankful that we got to do this shoot. I seriously think that every kid should have a tween shoot. Photographs aren't just for babies and seniors.

Days Turning to Months

2011-10-21T06:24:00.001-04:00

I finally broke down and actually read some of the update emails my adoption agency sends to everyone in the Ethiopia program. I was sitting on the sideline thinking I was too good for those group emails...I had convinced myself that we were on a "God-Timeline" and I wasn't really concerned with what was happening with all the other families in the program. I didn't care how many people were in line before us, God was going to fast track us...because I had prayed for things to go quick and easy.

Doy.

So today I realized that we are still going to be waiting for a while. A long while. I made the mistake of thinking that when courts opened we would get our court date. I am now realizing the grave error in this thinking. We're not going to find out anything for a while. Months. [gulp] We probably won’t find out about our court date until sometime in December (I guess I can stop waiting by the phone now). Our court date will likely be sometime in January. Our embassy date will likely be sometime in late February.

Whaaaaaaaa. (<-me crying)

I am weary. B is weary. Every time I talk to him he asks me if I got our date yet. I hate saying no to him. [sigh]

Dear Lord, please hasten the day that he is here with us. The waiting is difficult and on days like today it feels unbearable. Lord, fill me with your peace, sustain me, be enough for me today and every day.

School Pictures

2011-10-18T20:20:00.005-04:00

My kids are THE most impossible kids to photograph.

The minute I take out the camera and ask them to play nice nice things go downhill.

They flare their nostrils, bug their eyes, oversmile, undersmile, and other amusing (yet annoying) tactics. I think they just like to frustrate me.

The only one who shows up on the scene ready and willing to professionally model is Amaya.

...and she works the camera like nobodys business. The problem is that she won't let me touch her hair or clothing. ...she's a total diva. She usually shows up thinking her hair and wardrobe are awesome, when it's really an awesome mess.

These are our school pictures this year. Not because I couldn't do better, but because I don't have the energy to try.

More Spice Than Sugar

2011-10-13T18:04:00.001-04:00

End. Of. Story.

Spiritual Leader

2011-10-11T09:38:00.004-04:00

Amaya came home from school last week with a very special surprise. She reached in her backpack and pulled out a certificate that said that she accepted Jesus as her Savior and Lord.

I'm pretty sure the Holy Spirit has taken over since then, cause that girl has been filled with songs of worship ever since. She even decided to start a candle lighting ceremony as part of her worship. - come to think of it, she might be a budding legalist - which is so "un-Moore" of her. I'm sure the Holy Spirit will work that out.

Often when we hear people share their testimonies, they say "When I was five I accepted the Lord"...super boring...but super beautiful too. How wonderful to grow up loving the Lord. When I think back on my life I wonder about how a relationship with Jesus would have helped me through some dark times, how my decisions would have been different if I had known Him from the start. Yet I look back, not regretting, just wondering.

There is also a beauty in being saved as an adult - somehow it becomes even more precious to know that He sought you and found you in the midst of your willful sin and rebellion against Him and He called you to Himself - not because your parents were saved and you grew up going to church, but because they weren't and you didn't. He had to go out of His way to find you because He wanted you..purposefully. He reached down into your life and lifted the veil that covered your eyes and allowed you to see Him. Oh, I'm so thankful He saved me.

So while Amaya's testimony will be one of the boring ones, I'm so glad she has eternal security early in life and she will get to walk with Jesus through the peaks and valleys of adolescence, dating, and beyond. She will learn from a young age that He can be trusted, leaned on, prayed to, and depended upon. She will grow up knowing that she doesn't have to lead, she just needs to follow Him.

Praising God for her boring testimony!

I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. - Luke 15:7

Open!

2011-10-06T16:43:00.004-04:00

The last twenty days have been peaceful. Once we received our referral I stopped waiting by the phone expecting it to ring every day. It's been nice. Since the courts were closed I rested in the assurance that nothing was going to happen with our case. Nothing. We were just sitting around waiting for courts to re-open.

They re-opened last week. This is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I haven't heard from my case-worker, but I can only assume that our file has been submitted.

I also heard yesterday from a friend who is "in the know", that 2 people from our agency recieved court dates for November 21st. Another friend (who used a different agency) got her court date today for November 24th. I'm praying that we will get a November court date as well. Once we pass court we are officially his parents, but we also need to pass our Embassy appointment (which is usually 3 weeks after the court date) in order to bring him home.

...so...here's the super-huge prayer that I'd like to ask you to pray with me: Dear God, please bring B home before Christmas. I know it's a lot to ask because there are people and papers involved, but I also know that you can do anything. In the name of my all-powerful King Jesus. Amen.

Confessions of a Pinterest Addict

2011-10-01T20:18:00.007-04:00

I'm addicted. To Pinterest. There I said it.

I knew it would be addictive. I saw others going down..spending time pinning. I scoffed at them. I already spend too much time on FB - why would I even go near another online social-thingy...especially one that could give me a case of the "wants".

This is precisely the reason I was avoiding Pinterest and resisting the invitations that were piling up in my email box.

But then it started to feel like everyone was doing it...and I began to think that maybe I was missing out on something. Something good. And well...apparently I'm a follower...cause I broke down and joined. I was accepted to the Pinterest party that was already in progress.

That's when I fell in love with it's pinny-goodness.

What is Pinterest, you ask? My answer (not to be confused with an official definition) is: it's a groovy online "magazine" that you and your friends are all browsing together. You are all dog-earring pages and showing each other what you've dog-earred. Minus all the paper, annoying ads, and stupid articles. It's boiled down to the best of the best; it's so super-efficient. Mouth-watering recipes, cool craft ideas, design & decorating tips, and inspiring photography poses. (There are other categories, but these are the ones I'm following).

When do I have time for this nonsense? I mostly pin on Dirt's ipad while I'm in bed and Dirt is watching something sports-related on TV. Actually I even pin during shows I'm watching. ..and while he's talking to me. ..and while I'm waiting for water to boil..and well...it's definitely multi-task friendly. I even pinned with my girlfriends last week - all three of us at my kitchen table with our ipads, oohing and pinning together.

If you aren't on Pinterest, you should be.

Unlikely Subjects

2011-09-27T19:55:00.001-04:00

It seems like I've been taking a lot of pictures lately...but none of my peeps. On Sunday I had big hopes of dragging the kids out for a photo shoot as a replacement to the 2011 school pictures that I refuse to purchase. But by the time we got hair combed no one was in the mood to get dressed and go on a photo adventure with me.

So...I did what any mother would do...I bribed them for a few quick pics in the yard.

If I don't get around to taking them out for a formal shoot, I will at least have these. I'm calling this one the school photo shot. This is what Amelle looked like in 5th grade, in case anyone ever needs to know.

...and this one...well..she's a nut. She wanted to get dressed in her prom dress (with flip flops) and wanted wet hair so it layed flat and would not let me touch it to fix the part. She absolutely loves this picture. She asked me to put it on Facebook. She thinks she looks sixteen and even asked me to show Avery to see if he could figure out who it was. Um...she's crazy. Crazy cute.

Oh, and what do we have here? The world's oldest student? Not quite. I recently came across a photography challenge that started and ended with taking a self-portrait. I don't really have any photographs of me, which I'm really okay with...but figured it might be good to try to take some.

Of course...once the camera was set up...I had company...

What was even better than taking self-portraits was taking photos of me with Amaya. I think I'm going to try to get pics of me with each of the kids soon. My friend Nancy recently recommended a remote for my camera which I would love to get. I'm sure it'll be a thousand times better than the self-timer.

I'm looking forward to setting up a photobooth-type activity for the family soon. Stay tuned for some interesting pics!

Life in Limbo - Adoption

2011-09-26T11:42:00.002-04:00

On Saturday I had a great phone conversation with B. I love when we can get beyond the normal, "I love you, how are you, I miss you, school is good" stuff. Our conversations will go wherever his language skills and my understanding skills will take us. On Saturday we laughed together about a mutual friend. It wasn't really all that funny, but it sure tickled him - and once he started laughing..well..that laugh is just infectious. I began laughing and the sound of both of us laughing at the same time was some good medicine.

When the laughter faded he said he wanted to skype soon [pause] ..then "I miss your face". My heart sighed deeply. .... I miss his face too. I will skype with him, although I know that skype won't satisfy. Nothing will fill the void. Nothing can satisfy the longing of a mother's heart to have her child safe in her arms. I'm sensing that B is longing in the same way - for the comfort of his mother's arms too. (...he marvels at my fat arms, "mom, your arms are sooo fat". Gotta love that. Skinny arms need not apply.)

Today a FB message from B read, "Hi Mom, I love you I miss you so much!!! Mom you are the best of best in my life mom. I love you so much!!!!!"

What am I suppose to do with that? Writing back "I love you too" doesn't seem like enough. But then again, boarding the next plane to Africa seems like overkill. So I'm stuck. Holding his adoration in my heart. I suppose I should cherish that expression of love - surely once he gets here and is subjected to my drill sargentry (mostly just in the mornings), he'll change his mind about me. Maybe he'll downgrade me from "the best of the best" to "good" or "tolerable". I don't know.

I just miss him.

Last week I came across this dried up, flattened little rose bud (pictured above). B gave that to me the day I met him in early 2009. As I was getting ready to leave Kolfe he plucked it off of a rose bush and handed it to me. Maybe he hoped that it would help me remember him? Ha...did I ever. The rose bud might not look like much now, but to me it is a beautiful symbol of the day God planted the seed of a son in my heart.

Big Daddy

2011-09-21T07:07:00.004-04:00

This post might need to be filed under "Things That Are Only Amusing To Me". I apologize in advance.

I'm away. Out of town. In a hotel. ...which means that Dirt and I had a great chance to catch up last night. Don't ask me how that works. When he's in bed next to me we don't always chat, when he's not...we do. Weird.

Anyway...we were catching up on events from Monday...the day he and Avery went on a field trip. Let me back up a little bit....the kids are at a new school this year. A very small school where the 10-15 kids per class migrate from grade to grade with each other. The social circles are tight and when Avery asked if I could chaperone his field trip, I assumed something was up. Socially. Like maybe he was afraid he wouldn't have anyone to sit with on the bus and his mom was a better option than sitting alone. I don't know? I have no real proof, I just found it odd that he was requesting that I chaperone. Normally Avery is socially adept and moves confidently and easily in and out of social circles. For this reason, he doesn't usually want his mom hanging around.

The Lord must've intervened because I was about to call Dirt and tell him that I though HE should go on the field trip, when an email came in from him saying that he thought he should chaperone. (Love when that happens).

So Monday was the day of the big field trip. Dirt rode on the bus with Avery and 30 other boisterous kids. He was responsible for a group of boys - Avery and his buddies. Apparently one of Avery's friends is a "leader" - he's bold, funny and kids follow him. This particular boy seemed to really like Dirt. At one point he overheard Avery call Dirt, "Daddy" and then decided that he was going to call Dirt "Daddy". Then somewhere along the lines "Daddy became "Big Daddy" and by mid day all the boys in his group were calling him "Big Daddy". Much to Dirt's amusement.

On the way home, the leader boy was organizing various chants on the bus. They would call out names and then a chant would ensue. Of course, a "Big Daddy" chant was imminent. But then out came another chant, "We Love You Big Daddy!". ...from 30 kids on the bus.

As Dirt was telling me this story, I'm cracking up. Dying. Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I'm concerned that someone from hotel management is going to come knocking on my door because they think I might be slaughtering a hyena in my room.

If you know Dirt, you know that he is a gentle giant. He is the most mild-mannered guy; so quiet and unassuming. He's so not the "Big Daddy" type.

It's A Boy!

2011-09-15T21:20:00.003-04:00

We got our referral today! It's a boy. He's 66.5 inches long and 92 lbs. The labor has been arduous and the delivery ain't over yet.

My cell phone rang at 5:11p (does anyone else find this mildy amusing?) - and even though I saw my social worker's name, I figured she was just calling to tell me why things weren't progressing. It wasn't until I answered and heard her sing songy happy voice that I realized that THIS might be THE call. "Are you ready to receive some emails?"

Um..heck yeah.

Okay...so it's not like most referrals where the parents have no idea what they're getting. I confess that I already knew most of the stuff in the referral. But this call was far from anti-climactic because that awful waiting is over. We are "offically matched" with him. There is now certainty that we're getting submitted when courts re-open. No more paper cuts.

So....

We have arrived at our current destination. Next stop: Waitsville. (Didn't we just leave there?)

1) Court opens Oct 8, we get submitted then.
2) We wait for a court date (estimate 2-4 months).
3) Once we pass court we are officially his parents!
4) We wait for an embassy date (usually 2-4 weeks from court).
5) I travel to Ethiopia to attend the embassy appointment with him and bring him home!

I am praying the impossible: to have him home by Christmas. I know this is unlikely - but I'm convinced that God likes my crazy BIG prayers....so I will continue to pray them! Please join me!

This is happening people. Really happening! Holla!

Rockin' the Rocket

2011-09-14T22:37:00.006-04:00

Last week, "rocket parts" mysteriously appeared in the house.

Apparently Dirt and Avery had been to the hobby shop.

It didn't take a rocket scientist (ha!) to figure out that the rocket essentials that laid dormant in my dining room would soon be used to construct a rocket...that would one day be launched from our backyard...

...and used as an awesome microphone.

Sunday was the big day.

holy smokes..

She blasted off into the heavens, released her parachute, and descended oh so carelessly back down to earth.

Are rockets feminine, like boats? Anyone know?

Ground zero will never be the same.

Actually it will. It already is. I just felt like this story needed a bit of poignancy.

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts

2011-09-11T23:20:00.004-04:00

I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. Not because it’s Monday…not directly anyway…though that doesn’t help. It’s because I fear the paper cut. Let me explain.

Our adoption process was going along swellingly well. Things were smooth, our agency was helping to move things along quickly because of B’s age. My plan was to have him home in September and on most days I believed that was going to happen. I was praying, my small group was praying..and things were happening! God things – like getting our fingerprints done early, our agency working on B’s referral before our CIS approval came back, and our CIS approval coming back in record time. My calculations had us getting our referral about a week after our dossier was in Addis. Amazing timing. This was in early July – which meant that we could get submitted to court before the August closure. Life was good.

Each day I waited expectantly for the call from my social worker (sw) between 10a –12p. You see, my sw had assured me that the referral should be complete "soon" – they had mostly everything, they were just waiting on one piece of paper. At one point she even told me that she could actually read me the referral, it just wouldn’t be “official” until they got that last piece of paper. I just knew that any day I’d get the call, and I assumed, based on my complex mathematical calculations that it would be between the hours of 10am and 12pm.

For those who are so inclined to step inside my brain (a scary, scary, place), here is my complex mathematical rationale: Ethiopia is 9 hours ahead of Texas, so by the time my sw gets to work in the morning, the workday in Ethiopia is already over. Therefore any new news on our case would be waiting in her email box upon her 8am arrival. Since we are 2 hours ahead of TX, her 8am is my 10am. I figured that she’d call me within the first 2 hours of her workday because surely she isn’t going to save a referral call until the end of the day – it’s kind of a big deal. Okay, now you can get out of my brain…it’s super crowded in here – between you and all the words to Led Zeppelin songs from my college days…there just isn’t room for much more.

Back to the story…

Every day I was infused with hope as 10am rolled around…but by 12pm…my shoulders rounded forward as hope drained from my body. As the last drop of hope exited at precisely 12pm, a sting of sadness would settle in. A paper cut on my heart.

As of today, I have endured 50 paper cuts. Although my sw assures me that everything is fine with B’s case, she is just waiting on the Ethiopian sw to email her the last piece of paper, which should be “any day”….tomorrow at high noon I will likely receive my 51st paper cut. I’m sorry if that sounds defeated and dreary. I have heard “should be any time now” or “should be next week” at least 10 times – and last week when she told me “should be early next week” I decided not to believe her. Sort of. Because I want so strongly for this to be true I will unwillingly, expectantly await her call between 10a-12p. I can’t help it.

I keep reminding myself that it doesn’t really matter when I get the referral because the courts are closed now anyway, I just need to get it before they re-open in October – that's all that really matters. That’s the logical part of my brain talking. However, I don’t live there. I live here: Dude. At this point, I just need it. I need that part of this process to be done. Now. I can't wait another day. I can't wait another second. I need some chocolate.

Lord, please let tomorrow be the day. Thank you. Amen.

2011-09-06T22:18:00.003-04:00

Today is B's birthday (a story for another day). Normally when one of my kids has a birthday I'm busy figuring out cake and gifts and how to make the day special. Today was different. Despite my prayers for him to be home by the time his birthday rolled around, he was not. This was the birthday email I sent him:

Happy Birthday sweet boy!

On your birthday I am reflecting on a few things that I'd like to share with you:

1) The preciousness of your life. Read Psalm 139 today. You will see that you were precious to God before you were born. He tells us that you are wonderfully made! His work is good - he made you perfect in his eyes and you are precious to Him who created you. He knows the plan for your life - all the pages of your life were written before even one of them came to be. I know that you have suffered pain in your life. I know that your life with your birth-mom wasn't easy and your life at Kolfe has not been good - but God will use those experiences somehow, someway for your good and His glory. Romans 8 tells us that he works all things together for the good of those who love Him. He is at work in your life! He has a beautiful plan for you and it is good!

2) Your past and your future. Today, as we celebrate your birth I think about your past. I think about your birth-mom who gave you life. I think about her carrying you in her belly and her labor to have you. I think about her holding you and carrying you and kissing your forehead when you were a precious little baby. Oh how she must have loved you - you were such a beautiful baby boy! When I think about some of the hard times you had with her my heart hurts that you didn't feel loved. I think about how difficult it must've been when she died. How your little heart must've been confused and sad. I wish I had known you then so that I could've lifted you up and held you in my arms and told you that I love you and that I would be your new mom and I would take you home with me and never, ever, ever leave you. I wish I could've told you back then about your future in America - where you will one day live. I wish I could've told you about your new mom and dad that love you - and your little brother and two little sisters, your grandmas, your aunts and uncles, and your church family - and all the love that so many people have for you. I wish we could go back to that day so I could hold you and tell you about all these great things that your future holds.

3) I think about where I was 15 years ago today - the day you were born. I was just meeting your dad. We met the year you were born. I fell in love with him when I met him and I knew we would someday marry. We had our first conversation about adoption in October of 1996 - while you were still a newborn baby. We had no idea when we dreamed about one day adopting - that our son had just been born on a distant continent halfway across the world. We did not know - but God knew! This was part of His plan!

4) I think about you today. I hope you have a fun day celebrating with your friends. My heart longs to have you here with us so that we could celebrate your birth together. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you how happy I am that you were born. I want you to know how good God is to give us such a special son. I want you to know that you are so loved and so precious to me and dad and we will always care about you and look after your best interests. We will help you choose the right direction in life. We will always pray for you. Me and dad will always love you.

I hope you know how precious you are. You are loved by God and you are loved by your family!

Love,
Mom

Seriously God?

2011-09-01T20:37:00.003-04:00

Today God rocked my world. Check this out:

This morning I was chatting with a friend from church who stopped by the house to finish up some work he had done for us a while back. He mentioned that he was going to NY. When I nosily asked why, he shared that he was going to help with a ministry that was in need of some labor. As he was telling me about his trip I felt compelled to give him a $50 Visa Gift Card that I had hanging on our refrigerator. I thought maybe he could use it for gas. Someone had given me the gift card a few months ago as a thank you for taking photographs of her baby. I hung it on the refrigerator not really knowing what I was suppose to do with it.

Immediately after I felt the urge to give him the gift card, my own selfishness began to seep in. I began thinking of reasons why I should keep the card for myself and what I could use it for. However, my greedy thoughts were abruptly halted when I sensed God saying, “Give him the gift card, I can do so much more”. I sighed to myself, headed into the house, obediently grabbed the card off the refrigerator, and then walked back outside and gave it to our friend. He thanked me and then he left. It was 11:59am.

At 12:06 I checked my email and found a message from my caseworker. The email said that we had received a $2000 grant towards our upcoming adoption costs!

Um. Tears. Laughter. Praise. Ephesians 3:20.

Seriously God, You are amazing. Thank you for loving me so much and allowing me to hear Your subtle voice and see Your mighty hand at work! You are the author of all that is good.

First Day of School: 2011

2011-08-29T19:42:00.007-04:00

We weren't sure the first day of school was going to happen this year. I mean, we knew it would happen...eventually...we just weren't sure that it was going to happen today.

Hurricane Irene struck yesterday - and although it was less than devastating (far less), we did lose our power for 28 hours, 32 minutes, and 14 seconds...or so.

The kids had to brush their teeth "Africa-style". Bottled water only because we had no running water.

This year is a BIG year for our family because Amaya started Kindergarten at the same school that the older kids are attending. Did you catch that? 1 school, all 3 kids. One drop-off! Holy cow, life is good! (she was just a wee bit excited!)

Amelle and Avery had a lot to smile about too - they are attending a new school this year - one with a less stringent dress code! Amelle gets to wear "regular clothes" - which was kind of exciting!

Avery still has to wear a collared shirt - but there is freedom in colors and styles. He wanted to go on record as being "unhappy" about starting school. Although he's glad to be going to a new school, lets' face it, school is far less enticing than summer, so he wanted to ensure that his picture did not depict a smile. ...even though I was making strange fart noises to try to force a smile. He was stone cold.

3 kids. 1 school.
I can't stop pinching myself.

It was extra-special to find a friend waiting for us in the parking lot. Ellie is also attending Seacoast Christian this year - friendly faces are good on the first day at a new school.

Don't ask me why that picture is blurry - I'm going to blame it on the fact that we were late. Or maybe Renee pushed me as I snapped. Or maybe my focal point was aimed at that little spot of rotten wood between Ellie & Amelle's legs. You'll never know the truth.

Bridge Jumping!

2011-08-26T22:22:00.000-04:00

Bridge jumping has become a favorite sport around here.

...so on Friday when I received a text from a friend that she was headed to the bridge...

...I alerted my troops and within minutes they were in bathingsuits and we were headed out the door.

Avery is the real jumper in the family...Amelle has done it, but has no real desire to continue doing it. Amaya can't wait to jump - but I think she needs to become a stronger swimmer (there is a current).

In the meantime, she can paddle a kayak! (which I got to try and LOVED)

Nature Walk - People

2011-08-25T22:15:00.000-04:00

All the photographs from our nature walk should be on one post.
However.
I am lazy.
And Picasa only uploads 4 pictures at a time.
So...here are the peeps.

Will & Avery

Amaya.
Wow I should have cropped this picture. (I'm too lazy to go back and do it now). Sorry Beckett.

The gang - minus me
(again, I was apparently too lazy to set up the auto-timer)

Heading home

Nature Walk - Sites

2011-08-25T22:09:00.000-04:00

Today Wendy and I packed up the kids and headed to Grandma's house.

Grandma has a great neighborhood for nature walks

Lots of trails

and fun signs

and scenery

Good times.

Do I Know Her?

2011-08-24T09:09:00.000-04:00

Amaya doesn't like witches. The whole witch thing dates back to here...(when she was three we went to a Fall Festival - everything was wonderful - until a witch spontaneously rode through the crowd on her bicycle). Amaya didn't soon forget her and her cycling ways.

But that witch was the furthest thing from my mind when Renee invited us to see The Wizard of Oz at Prescott Park a few weeks ago.

Until Amaya realized that a witch would be appearing in the show. Then came the questions..

"Will the witch have a green face?"

"with pimples?"

"will she have black clothes?"

"will she have a broom?"

"do I know her?"

My First Medal

2011-08-22T21:33:00.001-04:00

A few weeks ago our family participated in a walk for ana-cepha-somethingorother. Its a condition where a baby is born with a life threatening illness and either dies in utero or shortly after birth. My friend Renee was asked to photograph the event and she asked me to tag along and take pictures with her. That just spells "good times" to me.

Jermaine thought it would be a good opportunity to walk with Amelle, so they did the 5K walk together. Avery jogged the 5K walk so he could be the first walker to finish. He's a mess.

After the walk was over there were some "fun run" races lined up for the kids. Amaya was in (after we bribed her with a McDonald's ice cream). Don't judge.

Amaya runs fast. She's got some Serena Williams legs and they move! The top part of her body is so perfectly upright, yet her legs are moving like lightening underneath. It's slightly awesome. I secretly couldn't wait to see how fast she would be compared to others her age.

She took off at the "get ready". Who cares... "get set" and "go" are for suckers.

Unfortunately the dude in the black shorts is the 5yo, American, white Usain Bolt. He killed it.

But....

...lucky for us...they were giving out 2nd place medals.

My girl was JAZZED. "I got my first medal"

LOVE!

She's a Biker

2011-08-20T22:56:00.001-04:00

Amaya learned how to ride without training wheels today.

Dirt took her to the middle school track and within moments she was off...

circling the track with her biker posse

then we decided to have some fun "showing motion" with my camera

Amelle was moving at the speed of light...she is the pink vapor.

Seriously, that chick did 7 miles around that track today. I'm surprized she didn't end up with vertigo.

My Little Pink Lifeline

2011-08-18T22:24:00.006-04:00

Two weeks ago I received an email from B with a phone number on it. He asked me to call him. I waited up until midnight so that I could catch him first thing in the AM. At 12:05AM I dialed the ridiculously long number and an older Ethiopian male answered, "Hello". (This was a good sign). I asked for B, then I heard a bunch of kids in the background. Then his voice. "Hello".

I melted.

His voice was so clear it was like he was calling from the next room. He said exactly what I was feeling, "I miss your voice".

After 28 minutes he had to go, apparently the owner of the cell phone wanted it back. After two years you would've thought that maybe it would dawn on me to get him a cell phone that I could call whenever I want...but noooo. It never ever ever even crossed my mind. Duh.

B mentioned that if he had his own cell phone I could call him any time (hint, hint). It only took me a millisecond to realize that I had probably three old cell phones in our kitchen junk drawer. He told me it would cost 60 birr to activate it. I was like, "60 dollars?". He responded, "No, 60 birr". Um. 60 birr is like $3.50.

At 12:35am I found myself rummaging around for the cell phone charger that matched a pink cell phone from our "junk drawer". The next day I packaged it up with 60 dollars (just to be safe) and sent it to a friend who was headed to Ethiopia.

I felt funny sending my 14-yo son a pink cell phone, but seriously, the pink thing doesn't seem to be an issue for boys in Ethiopia. Yesterday he sent me his new number and today I called and talked to him. Twice.

I called first thing in the morning, but then he wanted to hear Avery's voice - so Avery had to call him when he woke up. So precious. I love having a way to talk to him whenever I want. And he can talk to me whenever he wants by sending me a message on FB or email for me to call him.

Who would've thought that my lifeline to B would be a little pink phone? ...at least until Dirt gets the phone bill.

My Idea of Fun

2011-08-07T22:25:00.001-04:00

Last week my friend Renee came over to play photography with me.

We set up my fake studio and added some moving targets (the kids).

then we played in Photoshop

enhanced

brightened

tinted

smoothed

Good times.

God is Good!

2011-08-05T21:50:00.004-04:00

Even when he doesn't say yes to me. He's good. His plans are good and His timing is perfect.

Today the courts closed for the next six weeks. We were not submitted because we are still waiting on a piece of paper.

God had 6 weeks to get a piece of paper from point A to point B so that we could get submitted to court before they closed and He chose not to. If He had wanted it to happen, He would have made it happen...He wouldn't have even needed to perform anything miraculous. Six weeks is plenty of time to get a paper from A to B - even in Africa. Because He is God, I can rest in His sovereignty and His promise that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). He has given me peace.

That's not to say I'm not disappointed. I'm heavy-hearted. My emotional state can best be described by a sigh. I'm not sure what hurts more, the fact that B's homecoming will be delayed, or the fact that God did not say yes to my zillions of prayerful pleas for a September homecoming date. I want to shake my fist in the air and holler "Why?" - but that just feels stupid. He's God. He's got His reasons and they're good...even if I don't agree. His ways are higher than my ways and when He exercises His will, He doesn't need to answer to me.

As I hung up with our social worker tears welled up in my eyes. The realization that "it was over" overcame me. Every single day for the last four weeks I have waited with expectancy for the phone to ring between 10am and 12pm. Every day I have endured the ping of disappointment when the phone did not ring. Every day I would nervously recalculate the likelihood that we would get submitted before the looming court closure date.

It sounds like the paper might take a week to get into B's file (of course I've heard that timeline many times before). I'll get "the call" when the paper makes it there. Next week I will take a break from my expectant waiting and the following week I resume until I get that good news phone call.

3 Days

2011-08-03T06:52:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm the Queen of Bad News on this blog.

Tuesday came and went, and well...no news. There are three days left until the court closes for 6 weeks. Today (which is half over in Ethiopia), tomorrow and Friday. Even if we did get the referral today, God would have to do the impossible to get us submitted to court before it closes.

Yesterday I decided to pray instead of emailing my caseworker. I figured I was emailing someone who can't do anything instead of praying to the One who can do everything. I prayed. You prayed. We all prayed. Yet yesterday came and went without any sign of good news.

Last night I was sick. Sinus stuff. Amaya laid in bed next to me and told me she felt sad that I was sick, so I told her that she could pray for me. She said, "that never works". My heart broke. Partly because she lacked faith, and partly because I had been feeling the same way. All this praying, 6 weeks to get one piece of paper was more than enough time - why didn't it happen? Why pray if God doesn't answer our prayers?

Just like Amaya is five, I'm spiritually five. So young and foolish about my faith sometimes. As if I'm the boss and He must do what I say. I'm so thankful He doesn't let me call the shots. If he did, this world would be insane (and chocolate would have zero calories). I digress.

I encouraged Maya to pray for me anyway, and she did. Then I prayed for God to strengthen her faith by giving me some noticeable relief from my sinus pain - for her sake (and for mine!). Last night the sinus pressure was so great I fell into tears and this morning I woke up relieved of all the pain and pressure. I couldn't wait to tell Amaya that God answered her prayers.

He is still hearing and answering prayers. He is still paying attention to us. He is going to do this in His time, for His Glory.

One Tooth Less

2011-08-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Amaya lost her front tooth on Saturday.

She was determined to pull it out. ..and out of nowhere she came downstairs with a bloody paper towel and a big smile. She yanked it out all by herself.

She's independent like that.

A missing front tooth is a camera-crazed mother's dream come true.

Soo...

We did a photo shoot.

Of course, now the other front tooth is wiggly.

Another Tuesday

2011-07-27T19:04:00.001-04:00

Another Tuesday has come and gone with no word. Yesterday my caseworker said that they're waiting on one last letter. One last little piece of paper is holding this whole thing up. God, you can do this - it's just one piece of paper - You make trees for heaven's sake!

She says there's nothing more to do on "their end", they're just waiting for the last piece of paper. Meanwhile, the August 6th deadline looms. The timing couldn't be worse. Or maybe it's my faith that's faulty.

I'm trying to rest in His supreme sovereignty - in the knowledge that He is perfect and everything He does is perfect - including his timing to bring B home. I wonder if someday this waiting - these 2+ years of waiting will all make sense.

Some days I'm better at waiting than others. Today I stink. Praying that tomorrow will bring good news.

Cowgirl

2011-07-22T22:42:00.003-04:00

On Thursday Maya's school was having a dress up day. The theme: Cowgirl/boy.

She rocked it.

Bigtime.

More Waiting

2011-07-19T21:36:00.003-04:00

Sometimes the waiting is unbearable. Today is one of those days.

The day began with hope. I prayed on the way to work and asked God to give me good news today. I went about my morning with an air of expectancy.

I usually email my caseworker on Tuesdays - just cause. I'm not sure why it works out that way, I suppose on Monday I'm trying to be patient and trust God, but by Tuesday my patience gives out and I feel the need to take matters into my own hands. Lord help me.

When today's email came back telling me "they're working on it" - I sighed...one of those long heavy sighs. This is basically the same response I received last week and the week prior.

I've made up some ground rules for myself so that I don't become too annoying to my caseworker. One of these self-imposed ground rules is that I am entitled to one status update email per week. Unfortunately this means that once I get the "they're working on it" email, I have to wait until the next week to ask again.

This is probably why today I'm particularly broken up over the wait. In conjunction with me waiting longer than planned, I'm up against a huge deadline. The courts close on August 8th for 8 weeks. If we don't get in before the 8th, then nothing happens until October. Nothing. Period. Each day I wait, the already extremely narrow window of opportunity gets even more narrow.

I have been asking God and praying fervently that He would move mountains to get B home in September (he turns 15 in September). If we don't get submitted by August 8th...well...um...that's just not gonna happen.

Sigh...

If it doesn't happen, well...then...God will still be God. He will still be awesome. He will still be perfect and worthy of all my trust, adoration, and praise. I am trying hard to trust His timing. I know He knows best. Lord help me trust you with everything I have and let me find peace in knowing that your timing is absolutely perfect.

Oh Baby

2011-07-13T22:21:00.003-04:00

I have been spending a lot of time researching newborn photography.

Hours that should have been sleeping were spent watching newborn photo-sessions.

I set up my livingroom

Tested with some willing models

(slightly larger and more cooperative than a newborn)

And found a willing mommy and an adorable 12 day old baby.

The session went okay...I guess...for my first time. I didn't get the exact pose I was hoping for, but I will keep trying. I have another mommy willing to hand over her newborn in September. Victory shall be mine!

A Hot One

2011-07-11T22:59:00.002-04:00

Today was hot.

Fortunately we had plans to go to da beach.

We did a lot of this...

...and some of that.

It was a good day.

BFFL

2011-07-01T20:05:00.001-04:00

Know what's super-cute?

These two.

They're BFFLs

Which apparently means "Best Friends For Life"

Me and her mom (my friend Renee) are currently picking out coordinating dresses for the wedding...but don't tell the kids..we don't want to ruin the amazing friendship they have.
wink.

(photo credit: Renee Binette)

A Friend from Afar

2011-06-29T20:13:00.001-04:00

This past weekend Solomon visited us.

Solomon is so special to me. He helped me establish a relationship with B when he lived at Kolfe. In the very beginning he helped B set up an email account, he translated my emails and typed B's emails, he coordinated Skype sessions and translated for B.

In the early days, I spoke to Solomon more often than I spoke to B! Avery and I prayed for Solomon to come to America and we rejoiced when he arrived last June.

After nearly two years of chatting online, we finally met in person. It was wonderful to have him here. I loved asking him a million and one questions about B and Kolfe. And he so graciously answered them all! I was reminded about how much I love Ethiopians and how I wish I could be more like them. So humble, selfless and so full of grace.

The kids loved having Solomon visit...especially the girls. Amelle kept asking him if he wanted to ride the ATV. Lost in translation, Solomon would go into the TV room. Amelle continued to ask him and then it became apparent that he was thinking "a TV". We finally got him on the ATV.

:-)

It's Good To Be...

2011-06-25T21:31:00.002-04:00

...at Canobie!

Today we made our annual pilgrimage to Canobie Lake Park. We were accompanied by Solomon, Wendy, and Will.

We checked out the new rollercoaster. Twice.

We missed having Grandma, Shaun, Joelle, & Mina with us.

But we managed to have a good time anyway!

I'm Really Bad at This

2011-06-24T17:33:00.005-04:00

We got approved for a fundraising account through Lifesong. Lifesong is an awesome organization that provides fundraising support for people who are adopting. Their administrative costs are covered by another organization, so every cent that is donated through Lifesong goes directly towards helping families with adoption costs. Donations are all tax-free, which is awesome.

They provided us sample support letters which I can't bring myself to write. I just can't. Maybe that's sinful pride. It probably is. Lord please help me with that.

However, in His infinite graciousness, He did provide me with a way to raise support via photography in a way that allows me to give more than I receive. This I am comfortable with. Maybe too comfortable. When people do offer to give me a donation in exchange for their photographs, I try to convince them not to. What is wrong with me?

The truth of the matter is that we've managed to out-of-pocket $10k thus far. We are on the cusp of owing $7200, which we don't have. Then we'll have to pay travel expenses and B's plane ticket home (yay!). I am confident that God will provide, despite the broken vessel that is me.

The Heart of Adoption

2011-06-19T09:34:00.000-04:00

The adoption process is extremely difficult. Probably even more difficult when you 1) have an existing relationship/bond with the child your adopting, and 2) are working in the international realm - where "anything can happen". My heart would like an opportunity to tell it's side of the adoption story:

I was just pumping along minding my own business, and then out of nowhere BAM - I'm flooded with love. Mama love. (the worst kind - in my opinion - cause that stuff can hurt - bad). She has three other kids, so I know what I'm doing with this mama love stuff. But this one was different - cause it was love and sadness all wrapped up together and I didn't know what to do with that. The waiting seemed to be taking it's toll, so...I just jumped ship. I literally fell out of her chest and landed on the floor. As if the fall to the floor wasn't painful enough, I was then stomped on by a large African elephant that happened to be walking by. Then the elephant grabbed my flattened beating bloody self with it's long nose-thingy and tossed me into the open air. I momentarily enjoyed the fleeting freedom of floating through the air, when I abruptly landed into the jaws of a swamp alligator. The alligator slammed his powerful jaws down on me, digested me, and then pooped me out into a swap where I was inevitably devoured again - this time by a horrific smelling, slimy, swamp creature.

That's what the adoption process feels like. So far.

It's a real life fairy tale.

Father's Day

2011-06-19T07:00:00.002-04:00

Thinking of my dad today.

I really really miss having him around.

He would be loving his 8 crazy grandchildren. Oh how he would LOVE that both Shaun and I ended up with 4 kids each. 4boys, 4 girls. Our small 4-person family has multiplied into a large family of 12. He would've LOVED that.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

ConGRADulations

2011-06-18T22:06:00.003-04:00

Today we celebrated 2 graduations and a birthday.

When you have a big family, things tend to get clustered together.

Ariel graduated from High School. Joelle graduated from 8th grade. Avery is turning 12 next week.

Since Avery couldn't attend his own birthday party (because he went to the Red Sox game with Dirt). We celebrated the girls' graduation.

Oh..and the pictures...yeah...um...I stuffed their presents inside these desert items and told them they needed to fetch them without using their hands. They were both successful (although slightly sticky).

Good times.

Longing

2011-06-15T21:44:00.001-04:00

I recently received this picture of B from a friend who delivered a package (and letter) from us. I have literally received hundreds of photographs of B over the years, but this photograph haunts me like no other. His expression in this photo grieves my heart.

That look is not joy. It's a quiet suffering. It's longing.

We're longing too, sweetheart. Praying that you'll be home soon, precious son.

Love,
Mom & Dad

Amaya

2011-06-14T22:24:00.001-04:00

Amaya agreed to let me take pictures of her on Monday.

Sort of.

She so goofy that it's almost impossible to catch her looking normal.

But then again, normal is overrated.

I like her weirdness.

Auntie Camera

2011-06-11T22:32:00.002-04:00

When Beckett was born we used to joke that he would grow up not knowing what my face looked like because I always had a camera in front of it. "Auntie Camera", he'd call me...the rather mechanical-looking one who is always clicking away.

When I began pulling together my photography stuff to "go public" I decided to formalize my family nickname and set my site up as "Auntie Camera". I'm not a professional photographer, I'm really just a click-happy auntie.

So...I invite you to visit my photography site at http://www.auntiecamera.com/

I also have a new little blog brewing. I haven't been especially good about keeping this one updated, so don't expect much from the new one. I just felt like I needed a place where I could occasionally use words.

Pray for me. :-)

http://auntiecamera.wordpress.com/

A Real Baby

2011-06-10T08:46:00.001-04:00

I finally got a real baby to photograph.

How precious is this little dumpling?

2 months out of the womb and already a perfect model!

When are you due?

2011-06-07T22:31:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I thought to myself, "I'm getting better at waiting. I think God has finally given me the virtue of patience". Earlier in the day I received our CIS approval in the mail. I immediately got it notarized and was Fed Ex'ing it to the state to get authenticated. I had been waiting for this document for almost 60 days. It is the last piece of paper needed for our adoption. When I had this "epiphany" about how good I was getting at waiting I was in the process of using Fed Ex to get it where it needed to go as quickly as possible. Oh the irony.

The reality is that I had a sliver of peace because I just received a long-awaited document. My peace was circumstantial. It wasn't Paul's peace, the God-peace that transcends circumstances. My phony little sense of peace and patience was shaken when I read a recent update about the slow down of processing adoption cases in Ethiopia. Darkness.

Today I was completely restless. I can't wait any longer. It's too difficult. He just needs to be here. Now.

I sent an email to our case-worker asking for an update on our referral. I updated my four adoption spreadsheets and reviewed my timelines. I emailed B and told him things that mamas say to their sons. I received photos and kind words from some folks who just returned from Ethiopia and had the opportunity to meet my sweet boy and see his smile. But nothing soothed my restlessness.

To top it off, people are asking me about him all the time now. It's like being 7 months pregnant only you have no idea when you're due. "I hear your adopting, when are you expecting your new child?" - I have nothing to give them but a shoulder shrug and an apologetic, "We're praying that he'll be here this fall...but things are really slow with Ethiopian adoptions right now". When Christians ask I tell them that God will need to move mountains to get him here this fall, but we know that He can. Some days I say this more confidently than others.

Today I was weak.

Pathways Training

2011-06-05T21:28:00.004-04:00

Dirt and I went to Pathways adoption training this weekend in NYC. I honestly was not looking forward to going. I figured that they were going to paint awful pictures of older child adoption using worst case scenarios and horrific case studies. I could just see myself fleeing from the room after the instructor showed us clips from the horror movie "Orphan".

However, I was pleasantly surprised. The training was actually awesome. Super-awesome. And I left feeling extremely encouraged. Invigorated even.

We explored our parenting styles (did you know that 98% of the way we parent comes from our mothers?) Woah! We also learned parenting techniques based on Dr. Purvis' research (Her book is called, "The Connected Child").

Here's an example of how the technique might look:

Child: I want a drink
Parent: Are you asking me or telling me? (in playful tone)
Child: Please may I have a drink

Here's another example:

Parent: Can you put your shoes on?
Child: I'm busy playing a game
Parent: (goes over to child and gets in their space, forces eye contact) I'm going to give you two options, 1) would you like to get your shoes on by yourself, or 2) do you want me to walk you over to your shoes and help you get your shoes on? (the options can be whatever you want)
[at this point, the child will most likely choose one of the options. If not, you move to stage 3 which is the "think about it stage". If you get to stage 3, you basically tell the child that they need to think about what they want to do - until they come to the conclusion that they are going to comply. This should take place near you, but the child isn't allowed to play with anything during that time.)

Though the techniques are specifically aimed at helping adopted children connect to their new families, they can be used with biological kids too. Dirt and I were skeptical about how these techniques would play out "in real life" and planned to test them out on Amaya.

We didn't need to wait long for an opportunity...

Me: You need to take a bath
Maya: I don't want to
Me: (moved in close, got in her space, made eye contact with kind eyes and warmly spoke), "I'll give you two choices: You can go upstairs and get in the bath OR I can give you a piggyback ride up the stairs and you can get in the bath. Which would you like?
Maya: (said nothing, she just got up and hung on my back).

Tee hee! It worked!!! I carried her joyfully up the stairs and she got in the bath without any problems! It was like magic!

I tested the various techniques two additional times today and each time I got the same fantastically easy result! I love my new skillz!

Pilot and the Peapod

2011-05-31T06:06:00.000-04:00

You may recall that in 2007 I wrote a book. I wrote it for Avery in hopes that he would develop a desire to read. He didn't. I wrote a query and a book proposal and sent it off to one small publisher in Maine and they didn't bite, so I gave up on it. I decided that I'd self-publish two copies of the book for Avery and Mina - who the characters in the book are loosely based on.

The two books came in the mail a within a few weeks. I hated the cover I had designed and the formatting was off. I tucked both books away in the bottom of one of my nightstand drawers.

Two weeks ago, out of nowhere Avery asked me if he could read the book. I told him I'd look around for it and let him know if I could find it. The next night he asked me again. I went upstairs and located the book at the bottom of my drawer and handed it to him at bedtime.

Each night I noticed a dim light coming from his room. He was reading it. Totally unprompted. After the forth night I asked him what he thought. He told me he really liked it. He said it wasn't even like he was reading, it was like he was watching a movie in his mind.

I was thrilled. This renewed my vow to fix the cover and editing and get two good copies to the two people who inspired me to write it.

....so....that's what I've been working on all weekend....

Upgraded cover. I took this picture yesterday and monkied with it in Photoshop.

Now that Avery has read 10 of the 13 chapters, he can help with the creative process. I asked him to draw some simple sketches depicting each chapter.

In the book, it looks something like this:

Fun.

Say Cheese

2011-05-30T19:51:00.001-04:00

We celebrate my mom's birthday on Memorial Day weekend. Traditionally this provides an opportunity to get a picture of Grandma with all her grandkids. But there are challenges when trying to get a group shot with 7 kids ranging in age from 3-14...

He doesn't want to.

He's not ready.

He's not ready.

...and I could post more...

However, I'll spare you and show you where we ended up:

Crazy town.

Kid Art

2011-05-28T16:01:00.001-04:00

Amaya's school puts together a book of all her art work throughout the year, and at the end of the year I end up with a big binder of her fantastic art. The best thing about these books is reading the commentaries. The teacher takes the time to date stamp each piece and ask the child what she was drawing. I love these more than words can say.

"This person was once sad and then someone came and held her"

"This is a castle on screaming grass. The grass is screaming because the castle is standing on it."

"This is a suckernator that sucks something and burps really loud"

"It's a lot of obstacles that a lady went through"

I've had a long-standing love affair with B.Andreas' Story People - provocative art based on this type of kid drawings. How much more meaningful are these Amaya originals?

I Am She

2011-05-27T20:11:00.007-04:00

Happiness is stumbling across a poem you wrote 2002 - one that was written to your 16 month old daughter...and finding that 9 years later it still rings true. So glad I found this tonight, I loved reading it to Amelle and seeing her eyes smile. I forgot that I used to write.

To Amelle

I am all that is gracious, wondrous and true
I am She
Soft like the clouds that cover the earth
Like a song sung by birds chirp
Like soil that grows flowers and fruit
Like my mother, and hers - built to suit

I am calming and humble like a gentle breeze
Bearing life as it carries seeds
I am She
Like the sky, vast and knowing
Like a flower, blooming and growing

More than just the leaves of a tree
Roots, bark, and branches are all that is me
Leaves but bloom once a year
Roots stay solid when they disappear

I am She

Defined - Inside, out
More than my face, is what I’m about
All that is genuine, remarkable and pure

Happily

I. Am. She.

I need a baby

2011-05-23T12:44:00.006-04:00

...to test out some of my photography stuff. I'm messing around with the lighting in my house to see if I can take pictures of little babies.

I don't want stuff like this to happen with a real baby who has a real mommy who wants to have pictures of her little sweetums. This baby's bonnet is blown out by the light on the right, but then her face isn't real sharp. This perplexes me. If I have enough light to blow out her bonnet, I should have enough light to get a crisp shot.

Something has to change. Before I try a new lens, I beg Maya to be my subject. I need skin, not plastic.

But clearly she isn't interested in being my model today. Even though I took her to Chuck E Cheese this morning, followed by lunch at her favorite "restaurant"(Subway) , I still had no credits in her bank. However, she was happy to play photographer's assistant and hold my light reflector (a piece of white posterboard) for me.

So back to the old faithful baby. I believe this is Amelle's #1 girl. She loves this baby, and I'm starting to see why. Very even tempered and cooperative. She's not a real looker, with her scarred up face and her unusually bumpy head, but what she lacks in aesthetics, she makes up for in personality.

I switched lenses, covered her strange head with Maya's old baby hat, and was able to get a shot that was less blown out. Still a little shadowy on the left, but my assistant went to watch cartoons so my reflector was propped up by cushions, further from the subject than I would've liked.

Then I changed out my backdrops to see how black would work. I also photoshopped the baby's face and her bumpy head. (It was the least I could do). And I disrobed her to get a peak at these:

Heaven help me. If these were real, I swear I would've kissed them. I love me some baby toes.

Somebody send a real baby stat. ...Before I start feeding and changing this one.

Pictures for Regular People

2011-05-21T14:50:00.005-04:00

I didn't take the suggestion seriously until two weeks ago, when it came from my photographer friend, Audra. I mean, I'm not a photographer, so why would anyone want to pay me money to take pictures? ...even if it was for a good cause.

Maybe the suggestion just felt more credible coming from a professional. Or maybe the looming $7400 adoption fee made the suggestion to take pictures as an adoption fundraiser, peak my interest.

Outside of being my own family's photographer (I'm known as "auntie camera" in our small family circle), I've only had one real photo shoot. Last year a friend from church asked me to take pictures of her baby. If success is measured by the joy that resulted from that shoot, then it was highly successful. My friend absolutely loved her pictures, and I loved playing photographer for the day.

Over the past week as I've been preparing to reveal my plans, I've struggled. I am so critical that every time I uploaded a picture I'd find something wrong with it, until I absolutely hated everything and almost scrapped the whole idea. But then something amazing happened. The evening I hit my pinnacle of self-disgust I received a FB message from someone I didn't know. She said that she had seen the pictures I did for Jess last year, and her baby was turning one, and she wanted to know if I'd take pictures for her. I blinked hard as I looked at the screen. She wanted to know how much I charged. Ha! I felt like this was the Lord's encouragement for me to move forward. I decided that I would charge nothing, but start an adoption fund that would accept donations from people who might want to compensate me for the session. In short, I decided to trust God.

On Wednesday, a second person asked me to take pictures of her family. Two people in one week! That's God.

Soooo....

I guess I'll be taking pictures this summer.

My site is here.

Just a Hair

2011-05-14T21:02:00.001-04:00

Today the girls asked to get their hair cut.

Maya was particuarly pleased with her new do.

And was more than happy...

...to model for me.

But she did ask me to pay her a dollar.

Dark Days

2011-05-13T19:00:00.002-04:00

When it comes to our adoption, I try very hard not to play the “what if” game. It’s too dangerous for me because fear is a cruel captor. It’s so slick, it just creeps in and before I know it my soul is in turmoil. Today fear snuck in via a series of emails. The first was from CIS telling me that my case was still waiting to be assigned to an officer. They reiterated that their current processing time is 75 days. Ugh. That puts us WAY behind schedule. The second email was from my sweet waiting boy who has somehow heard the news that adoptions have been slowed down by his government:

Hello my sweet mom
How was the day? My day was went well. I am very happy to Skype you. Hearing your voice make me delighted, --Mom I heard rumor that Ethiopia government is going out new rule on adoption area. I think until September they going out only in per day five children, can out through adoption. The number of children will decrease so Gladney and other companies are in dangerous. So the process must be fast cause the time is short. I love you and I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love your son

I want to wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but I am a world away and powerless. Today I forgot to believe that my God is bigger than my fears. I forgot that the all-powerful, all-sovereign Creator of the universe is my loving daddy. I allowed my mind to crack open the dungeon door and before I knew it I was engulfed in darkness with venomous thoughts swirling wildly around me. What if the program shuts down all together and we never get him? What if we have to wait so long for a court date that he becomes too old to adopt (15 is the max age allowed)? What if we never get to bring him home? What if God’s plan is for him to stay in Ethiopia? What if I don’t get my way? What if God fails me? What if God has another plan and it’s different from mine? What if. What if.

I wrote back to B, encouraging him with scripture and reminding him to pray…but then I wallowed in my own anguish all day. The thought of him never getting to come home is unbearably painful. If you’re reading this, please pray that God will bring our boy home soon and that his heart and mine will be at peace with God’s perfect timing.

..but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 40:31

Waiting Stinks

2011-05-11T21:37:00.000-04:00

I really really really hate waiting.

But at least I have some diversions.

Waiting

2011-05-08T07:31:00.005-04:00

It's 7:30a on Mother's Day and I'm waiting for a skype call from B. Earlier in the week he sent an email telling me that he wanted to skype on Sunday. On Friday I got another email telling me that a friend at his orphanage told him he could use his computer to call me at "7:30 tomorrow". So...on Saturday morning I got up and sat by the computer waiting for his call - it never came. Today I am doing the same in hopes of getting hearing his voice, seeing his smile and his twinkling eyes. I'm waiting.

The whole adoption process can be summed up with one word, "waiting". He's waiting to come home. We're waiting to bring him home. If it's not one thing we're waiting on, it's another. Right now it's our government (USCIS), next it will be our adoption agency (waiting for his referral), then it will be the US Embassy (reviewing our dossier), then we'll be waiting for a court date, then our travel date, then we'll be waiting for time itself to pass so we can get there. Then we will finally be able to bring him home. God willing.

The biggest problem with this whole thing is that I absolutely hate waiting....and I'm terrible at it. For many weeks I have been sensing God's big loving hand on my shoulder, saying "patience". That's it. He tells me "patience". I suppose he's reminding me of my prayer to transform my spirit and make me more like his son. (Galatians 5:22).

And so I wait. It's now 7:45 and it seems like maybe he is unable to call. [sigh]. Maybe 7:30 tomorrow, or maybe not at all.

I will be waiting.

Social

2011-05-06T20:41:00.001-04:00

My niece Joelle, is thirteen.

and tonight she had her 8th grade social.

I can remember when she was born.

I bought her a green sleeper and wrote "Sweetpea" across the butt with fabric paint because I thought she looked like Sweetpea - the baby from Popeye.

...she doesn't look like sweetpea anymore.

She's just gorgeous.

Widget Woes

2011-04-18T08:41:00.004-04:00

I've been working on this stupid badge and I can't get it to properly "fit" in my widget bar (to the right). Once I get it up, it will link to all of my adoption posts.

I've spend more time trying to get it to fit properly in that widget bar than I care to admit...and well...I have temporarily given up. So it's going here for now.

But it will not defeat me! You will know I've won the battle when you see it in my side bar (similar to the A-Team widget and the Twitter widget).

Victory shall be mine!

Just Sayin'

2011-04-16T14:52:00.004-04:00

This morning I received an email from a friend who was furious about a post she saw on FB where someone was telling people to stop giving money to people oversees because there are people in America who need food, heat, assistance. I advised her to pray for God to work in his heart [and in mine because I already begun to hate this unknown person]. She responded that she needed a way to tell him he was wrong. Always happy to give my opinion, I wrote this and sent it to her:

You are wrong.

When someone who lives in a country with so much excess that we literally create ways to spend our money (ie: pet spas, silly bands…the list goes on) can ask others to not send money to countries where so much help is needed, I feel compelled to say something.

Every day 10,000 people die from preventable diseases brought on by poverty. We should be in a state of emergency over this! God doesn’t assess more value to Americans. Think about the hysteria and sadness we feel when even 1 plane with 250 Americans crashes – imagine if 40 planes went down today. That’s how many people will die today of preventable diseases. Then 40 more plans tomorrow..and the next day (Richard Stearns, The Hole in Our Gospel). The point is that we tend to see these tragic deaths much differently when they have American faces. Unfortunately, that is racism.

America was founded on the premise of equality (Declaration of Independence)– yet then I see posts like this that suggest that we should be “taking care of our own”. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important for people to have heat, but even America’s poor are considered rich by the world’s standard. When I was in Ethiopia last month, I saw countless families sleeping under tarps on the side of the road keeping their children warm by burning fires.

I would invite you to try to view the world through God’s eyes – where every human being is loved and matters deeply. Consider that He has blessed us financially so that we can take joy in giving to others. Luke12:48 says, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked”. I believe God is asking us to give freely and lovingly to our neighbors here and throughout the world.

You see, Africa makes a fool of our idea of justice. It makes a farce of our idea of equality. It mocks our pieties. It doubts our concern. It questions our commitment. Because there is no way we can look at what's happening in Africa, and if we're honest, conclude that it would ever be allowed to happen anywhere else. -Bono

What the heck?

2011-04-15T19:35:00.001-04:00

How come I can't get paragraphs anymore? Eveything just smooshes together. Why?????

New Name Needed

2011-04-14T20:06:00.006-04:00

Every time I send an email to B I try to delete my "blog signature" - "the5moores.blogspot.com". Not because he can check it, because he can't (Blogger is blocked in Ethiopia). It's the name. We're not the 5 Moores anymore. We are 6 and by all accounts he's #6. The 5 Moores is terribly out of date and sadly noninclusive. The problem is that I often forget to remove it. The bigger problem is that I need to re-name our blog. The even bigger problem is that I don't know what to name it....and renaming it is kind of a big deal because all the blogs that link to my blog will need to be updated by their respective blog owners....and that's kind of asking a lot of people. I like "Moore to Love" - but it's taken. It's taken by another blogger and also the .com is taken. Another option is "Many Moores" - is also taken - by some non-blogger. The 6 Moores is taken by a family who considers their pets part of their 6 (cheaters). [sigh] I could just go with my name....but I don't love that. So I'm stuck. Paralyzed. If you've been reading this blog for a while you know I'm really really really bad with making "decisions of commitment". Changing the blog name is a big commitment and there are no names that I love. What to do. Any suggestions? Free my from my paralytic state!

No-Fro

2011-04-08T18:00:00.006-04:00

It was so time...

Separated at birth?

He's happy.

I'm happy.

Dirt's super happy.

All good fros must come to an end.

Oh Yes I Did...

2011-04-03T21:18:00.004-04:00

For the record, this wasn't my idea. However...when I picked him up from his friend's house, he inquired about getting his hair cut. That was my big break - and I knew it. Unfortunately it was after 6p on a Sunday night and there were no professionals open for business...

....so I offered my services...

..and he said yes.

Dirt was at men's bible study, so I couldn't be stopped! I sharpened my scissors and started snipping before he changed his mind.

...but then something strange happened...

...he asked for more to be cut off - he wanted it short, not "shorter". He urged me to take out the clippers!

I was tempted, but I knew I could hide my poor skills in 3 inches of curl, but a clipper cut shows all....and though he repeatedly asked me to give him smooth number 4 - I denied. I told him we could follow up with a real barber tomorrow.

...but then he puppy-eyed me, so in my moment of weakness I pulled out Dirt's trimmer. I fumbled with the attachments and made him promise not to hate me if I messed up. He did.

I ran the clippers along the side of his head and nothing happened. Then I decided it might be better if I started with the back. I ran the clipper up the back of his neck and noticed A LOT of hair fell off - like more than I wanted. I obviously had no clue what I was doing. I told him we needed to stop before I did any real damage.

When he looked in the mirror, he was pleased with my work and said he might just stay as is.

But he still didn't leave a tip.

Experiment in the Kitchen

2011-04-02T19:38:00.006-04:00

Ever since I switched to a part-time schedule I've wanted to try making home-made pretzels. I don't know why, it's just kind of a "thing". Last week we made my dream a reality.

We started with my recipe from my 7th grade Home Economics class:

Maya and I did the mixing and kneading while the kids were in school.

Once the older kids came home, we rolled the dough out and made them into fancy pretzel shapes.

The problem occurred when I referred back to my 25-year old recipe and noticed there was no oven temperature or cooking time listed.

Details.

Nonetheless, they headed into the oven with lots of promise.

But I can't lie - I was a bit disappointed by the end result. I had envisioned golden brown pretzels - like the kind they have in the mall - or on the side of the intersections in North Philly. BUT that's not exactly what we got.

The kids did eat them.

April Fools Day

2011-04-01T19:19:00.003-04:00

As if the 6 inches of snow today wasn't a bad enough prank, I also enjoyed this lovely April 1st Fun:

(yes, I got soaked)

(no, I was not fooled)

Don't Judge

2011-03-27T18:45:00.007-04:00

I'm fairly certain that Amaya was the only child at Chuck E. Cheese last Monday who was sporting a marijuana leaf wristband.

I can only imagine what the other parents must've thought. Maybe they thought I was some freaky pothead who was trippin' off the oversized mouse band. Or that I was some pro-hemp mother who was using my 5 year old to make a political statement. Or maybe they thought Maya had gotten into my private stash of marijuana-wear. I don't know.

They probably didn't realize that these little wristbands were gifts, packaged with care and love by an orphan who lives in the 3rd poorest country on the planet.

They came with scripture - a different verse for each member of his far-away family.

..and they matched his.

I'm guessing that B didn't know the wrist band was an advertisement for a mind-altering illegal drug. Yeah...I wore mine in Africa...and lemme tell you...those suckers were tiz-ight. They literally gave my wrist a muffin top. I put mine away for safe-keeping after wearing it the first day. But make no mistake; I cherish them...even if they do make people think we're potheads.

Adoption Update

2011-03-20T19:36:00.004-04:00

This past week was super busy in terms of the adoption process. I got our dossier paperwork in order and sent all 25ish documents to 5 different states for authentication. I had to laugh at myself, I literally drove past one mailbox with my envelope in hand, because it didn't look trustworthy enough. What if it lost my envelope? That would delay everything! The importance of these documents getting where they need to go to get what they need to get done to them weighs against the number of days my son will sit an orphanage. It was with this thought in mind that I carefully, yet expeditiously addressed envelopes and Fed Ex labels all week.

I have a very tight timeline put together that I call "The God Timeline" - because there is no way that we could possibly achieve the goal for B's homecoming without God's miraculous intervention . My prayer is for B to be home by....[drum roll please].... his birthday (September) - which is probably 4-6 months earlier than "logical timing" would suggest. But I LOVE to pray for things that the world would call "impossible" because God shows up in a big way when we step out in faith! Just ask the Centurion.

So today I had fifteen 4-second skype conversations with B. The internet kept dropping us...but he did manage to tell me one thing that made my heart sing praises, "they started the process with me - they took two portraits this week". He smiled, but was so stinkin' nonchalant about it...I was like, "What?" ...and my mind immediately flooded with questions as our connection dropped "...I need details, names, did they ask you any questions? Who? What day? Did they say anything else? Did they tell you when they'd meet with you again? Did they prick you with any needles yet? Oh and by the way, yay!" By the time our connection resumed I had calmed down enough to squeeze out, "That's great honey, I'm excited and encouraged".

Our homestudy is done (drafted); this week I need our adoption agency to approve the draft and our homestudy agency to finalize it, notarize it, and send 5 copies where they need to go so that I can apply to CIS by the end of the week. I know - that's a lot of things to happen in one week....but remember this process is bathed in prayer. Not that God is on my time, cause He's definitely not. He's certainly shown me that over the last two years - but I do believe He's good to go now and we're full throttle, baby. He's shown me that His hand is in this and on this and I have been completely overwhelmed by His power in the details.

Please join us in prayer this week. I am longing to have our boy here and he's longing to be here with us. Let's watch God move mountains together...he's already moved Dirt... :-)

This...

2011-03-18T20:50:00.001-04:00

...scares the crap out of me.

March Madness

2011-03-17T21:47:00.002-04:00

Today the temp hit 57 degrees

The kids could not be contained

Within moments of pulling into the driveway, a skateboard, a bike, a strollers, an ATV, a tricycle, a soccer ball,

and two basketballs were in play.

It's beginning to feel like spring!

Maya Monday

2011-03-14T17:52:00.001-04:00

This is what I like best about Mondays:

His Provision

2011-03-13T13:05:00.005-04:00

God called me to Ethiopia 2 years ago. ~~I went kicking and screaming~~ I reluctantly went. When I got there I fell in love. I became broken. Kay Warren calls it "gloriously ruined" in her book Dangerous Surrender. That feels about right.

When I returned home in May of 2009, I walked into my pastor's office and asked him if we could engage in a sponsorship program through Children's HopeChest. He smiled and told me he had just been reading Isaiah and felt that we needed to do something more for orphans. I explained that I had just been on a vision trip with Children's HopeChest and had found an orphanage that would be perfect for us. We moved forward.

In October 2009 we launched the sponsorship program at EBC and approximately 35 kids were matched with sponsors at our church. I hung a bulletin board and sent out emails periodically, reminding the sponsors to write. I rarely received any response, except for the occasional question or complaint from someone who hadn't heard from their child.

Though Dirt was very supportive, he didn't really "get it". I was lonely and there were times where I cried out to God asking him to pick on someone else. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I felt like I was carrying His burden for orphans around by myself and I wanted out. God had provided me with a network of Christian women across the country who had similar burdens for orphans and a passion to follow Jesus and I found solace in those long distance relationships. We emailed and prayed together over the phone, which was great - but I also longed for local fellowship. I prayed for my church to take our responsibility for orphans seriously and I boldly asked God to move the "spirit of adoption" through our church.

A year into the sponsorship program my pastor approached me about planning a trip to meet the kids. God assembled a team of 12 of us, including Dirt and Avery. In the months leading up to the trip I asked for volunteers to organize crafts and games, but no one raised their hand. Some of our team members would talk about their different missions experiences and I began to think that no one was really invested in this cause; maybe it was just going to be another stamp on their passports. I prayed and asked God to lay the burden to help on someone else's heart. Apparently He laid it on my pastor's heart because the next week at our meeting, he assigned tasks to different members of the team.

Once we arrived in Ethiopia, I was done. Literally done. As in I didn't have to do anything else. At all. Um...I almost felt like I wasn't doing enough. I literally sat back all week and watched God break the hearts of these unsuspecting travelers. I saw God's passion for orphans sweep through the team in a way that I hadn't anticipated or imagined.

This was His Provision...for me.

I suppose it would be wrong for me to say that the kids didn't get anything from us; I know they did. I know it fills them with joy to have people love them, hold them, kiss them, look into their eyes and tell them that they love them - and mean it. I know that they see us as part of God's love and provision for them - both physically and spiritually. But what we gain from them is so much more.

These two (our pastor and his 8 year old sponsor daughter) - God is working it out for them to be together forever. Our pastor and his wife came home last week and immediately began the adoption process. (An amazing story for another day!)

..and of course, our church left behind it's legacy: a basketball hoop.

On our way home I asked our pastor if there was anything I could do to help prepare
for the service where we'd share the trip with the congregation and he told me that they were all set - other people had stepped up and were working on it.

When God calls you to something, He provides. 'Nuff said.

He Rocked Africa

2011-03-10T18:49:00.004-05:00

In case you were wondering...

...Avery rocked the whole trip.

There were certain aspects of the trip where I wasn't sure what we'd get from Avery. Would he sleep on the plane? Would he get overtired have a freaky mood swing? Would he engage in a mama turf-war with his new bro? Would he shy away from interacting with orphans or other adults on the team?

He could've acted crazy and no one would blame his little 11-year old self for doing so after 30+ hours of sleepless travel. Let's face it, 4 countries on 3 continents in 24 hours is a lot to take in. But he didn't. He embraced Africa, Her beautiful people, Her children...

...Her crazy futbol...

...and his new brother.

Some funny "Avery highlights" that I hope never to forget:
1) His hair never looked worse. Ever. Dirt and I were distraught by his crazy hair all week. The arid air did not agree with the fro. I tried hiding it under a bandanna, braiding it, and finally under a big rasta cap. Dirt and I literally had conversations about how to get him to a barber IN AFRICA.
2) While at El Olam orphanage, another missions group was visiting the children and an older woman approached Avery thinking that he was an orphan. He went with it.
3) Our pastor bribed him to get his hair braided, promising 100 birr. I doubled the pot to 200 birr. He got his hair braided thinking he would be rich - it wasn't until later that he found out that 200 birr = 12 dollars.
4) On the last night, Avery called me downstairs, I found that he had "packed" B in one of our duffle bags. I guess that's an 11-year old's version of adoption.
5) Avery has a 1 Fanta limit. He loses control of his sensibilities if he has 2. We learned this the hard way.
6) Avery was happy to eat chicken fingers and french fries in Ethiopia - even though Ethiopian chicken fingers have a bone sticking out of them. (nom nom).
*
My focus was definitely not on Avery and he was cool with that. On the plane ride home I remember looking down at him and thinking, wow - did we just spend a week in Africa together, cause it feels almost like I haven't seen you all week [read = mama's been preoccupied]. But then again, he was pretty "occupied" as well. Most of the time he was chasing or running from B.

All that, I guess, to say that I'm proud of the way Avery handled himself in Africa. He's a pretty cool dude.

One Needle Closer

2011-03-07T09:35:00.007-05:00

It's a cold and rainy Monday morning and we're running behind schedule. I need to get the kids to school on time because I have an appointment at 8:30. A snapshot of the scene in my kitchen at 7:40am would depict the 5 year old smiling wildly because she is talking into a cat on my iphone and hearing her words repeated in a squeaky cat voice; the 10 year old painting her nails purple (even though she has yet brush her teeth), and the 11 year old standing completely still, staring blankly into space. And then there would be me - a large blurred figure running around, barking orders, packing lunches and making individual breakfast orders to go. The whole scene is wrong on so many levels.

We get out of the house late and the kids immediately begin to lodge their respective complaints until they resign themselves to the fact that 1) I don't care about resolving their petty issues, and 2) they have to get along for the next 25 minutes (which is the approximate duration of our inter-state commute to their private Christian school). I look at the dashboard clock and begin to estimate how late I'm going to be for my appointment. My hand searches my purse for my phone so I can call and let them know I'm behind schedule - which is when I realize that I left my phone at home.

Once we drop the two older kids off, a bellyache occurs in the backseat. Maya begins to cry. She gets bellyaches and I have no idea what is causing them. Fear of the worst creeps in and I console myself with the reminder that I brought her for testing in November and they called it constipation. My mind begins to search through the useless information folder in my upper cortex and I pull out the recent poop schedule for Child #3; I see that she made two poops yesterday and one on Saturday - I don't think she's constipated. I resolve to call the doctor later today.

By the time I arrive at my 8:30 appointment, it is 8:45. The woman is extremely gracious and happy, and she has yellow-rimmed glasses, and I love her. She has us down in the appointment book as "husband and wife" and that tickles me. I explain to her that my husband would be coming at lunchtime. I take a seat and extend my left arm to her. She tells me that I have thick skin and moments later I feel the "pinch". My TB test is in process - I just need to come back in two days to get it read.

I tell her that this is part of our adoption process to bring our 14-year old son home from Ethiopia. As those words cascade out through my lips, I fall in love with them. I vow to try to find a way to tell every person I come in contact with today. Gum? Why yes, I want to have fresh breath for when we pick up our 14-year old son from Ethiopia. Milk? Yes, gotta keep my body strong for my trip to Africa when I go pick up my son who we're adopting. Tampons? Yep, I'm not pregnant, but I'm expecting another child this year..holla.

Coming Out of the Closet

2011-03-06T06:00:00.011-05:00

We're ADOPTING!!!!

Ah..that felt good.

I've been keeping a ~~little~~ big secret for several months now. We began the adoption process in November. We filled out the Gladney application and submitted group 1 and 2 paperwork, met with the homestudy social worker 4 times, got fingerprinted and FBI clearance, and began chasing dossier papers from 5 states. We are well on our way!

The initial idea was that maybe we'd adopt B and a toddler boy - but per Maine rules, we'd need another bedroom for a little boy, and with things the way they are in Ethiopia right now, we're just going to concentrate on bringing B home as quickly as possible.

B knows what we're up to. We prayed and thought long and hard about this decision and ultimately decided that it was best for him to know our intentions, rather than us leaving him alone in Ethiopia feeling rejected and without hope. Now he has hope, he has something to focus his prayer on, and he knows that he is not "rejected" - but that his mom and dad WANT him and are trying their best to bring him home as soon as possible. He also knows that there are risks involved, we had a translator present to ensure that he understood that much of this process is out of our control and despite our best efforts to bring him home, there may be roadblocks.

In fact, several roadblocks have already surfaced.

1) Gladney's Ethiopian adoptions are currently on hold (creating a backlog)

2) CIS, a US govt agency that is vital to our next step in the process, may end up shutting down temporarily which would cause delays.

3) The Ethiopian govt agency (MOWA) announced last week that they will reduce the number of cases they see each day from 40 to 5. This bit of news is the most disturbing of all.

When I expressed my concern to Dirt, he assured me that God didn't bring us this far for nothing, he said that God is just pulling a "Gideon". Gideon was going to battle against a huge army and God widdled Gideon's army down to only 300 men. There was no logical way that an army of 300 could defeat an army of 1,000,000 - without God's help. God is doing the same here. He's stacking the odds so that there is no logical way this adoption can happen...without Him. He will be glorified!

On FB, there is a flurry of chatter around this article, that recently surfaced around Ethiopia cutting back on adoptions by 90 percent. I have three main thoughts regarding this article:

1) UNICEF hates adoption, they couldn't have found a more biased organization to interview.

2) If there are issues with infant adoption, Ethiopia should deal with them separately and allow waiting children to get through the system quickly. Haven't they suffered enough? My son has been living in a hell-hole for 8 years and is nearing the age-out limit - why should he be impacted?

3) God is BIGGER. My God is bigger than this and I am choosing to cling to Him in all this uncertainty. He is my rock, He is my fortress, He is my sustainer and I will cling to Him and Him alone. (Psalm 18:2)

Apparently the Ethiopian govt is meeting this week to discuss the adoption process. Please join me in praying that the Ethiopian government will allow waiting orphans to be expeditiously brought home to their US families. I'm clinging to this promise "God sets the lonely in families" - Psalm 68:6.

Housekeeping

2011-03-05T07:03:00.003-05:00

I think I'm going to try blogging again. You know, like the kind with words. Somewhere between Twitter and Facebook my blog posts morphed into 4 photos with captions under 140 characters. In fact, my brain might only think in thoughts that are 140 characters or less, so this whole blog thing might be a challenge. But I'm up for it. I think. Well, today I am.

We used to have a lot of fun around here. Remember the Sweet Tea post? How about the Walmart debate? Oh those were good times, good times.

So much has happened since I stopped writing, I'll get you caught up on all that later. And the biggest news is that we're now officially planning to adopt "B".

That brings me to a bit of housekeeping. Since we're officially "in process", I need to go through my old posts and "De-B-ify" the blog. When you're in the adoption process you can't have photographs or other identifiers (names) of Ethiopian orphans on your blog. That means I need to remove a bunch of stuff from the last two years.

So, you'll see some changes around here. B will now be referred to as "BAM" (likely his initials once he gets here, maybe).

Also, you'll see more words around this place. God willing (and time permitting).

How Was Africa?

2011-03-03T18:07:00.001-05:00

I never know how to answer this question.

I am convinced that there is no answer to this question.
It was good.
It was awesome.
I saw God move.

I saw hearts melt.

I saw love come to life.

I experienced my dreams.

I connected with old friends and made many new ones.

Africa was amazing. As always.

Double Digits

2011-02-15T05:25:00.000-05:00

There is something very special about turning ten. Double digits, baby. The teenage "1" has entered the building...I'm scared.

When girls get into the double digits it's vastly more scary/intense/noticable/emotional. Choose best answer or "all of the above".

Girls have hormones and those little suckers make them act weird. Boys...not so much. They just get tall, hairy, and eat more.

But not my little princess [clearing throat], she is just as sweet and innocent as she was when I brought her home from the hospital ten years ago [cough, cough], she is hardly moody or sensitive or tempermental at all [choking on lies], I mean - I barely even notice that she's getting older [gasping for breath].

Okay, she's totally a teenager in training...and since she's got my genes - I have my hands full people. Hands FULL.

Wish me luck.

...and Happy Birthday Amelle...you won't like this, but you'll always be my baby!

The Best Valentine EVER!

2011-02-14T21:15:00.000-05:00

Today I picked the kids up from school, as normal. I spotted Avery amidst a group of middle-schoolers - huddled together waiting for their parents. He was holding something - but I couldn't make out what it was.

When he entered the car I could see that he had three carnations. He smiled and showed them to me. I smiled back and asked him where he got the flowers. "someplace" he smiled. "Okay...where?" I asked. "Some Place", he responded - this time separating the words "some" and "place". So my motherly barrage of questions began, "Did a girl give them to you?, Did a boy give them to you?, Did a teacher give them to you?" He responded "no" on all accounts. I was perplexed. "Why are you acting all secretive about the flowers? What's the big deal?"

"They're for you". He replied.

[heart melted into a puddle - probably stained my driver side floor mats, but who cares? Um...my middle-school son just gave me flowers on Valentines day]

"Awww...they're beautiful! - Where did you get them?" I asked.

"Well, I picked them out of the trash. People had thrown them away because the flower fell off the stem. The whole thing is from the trash, well...except for the tissue - that's new"

Um...presciousness.

"I love them, and I love how thoughtful and creative you are. This is the best Valentines day gift I have ever received!"

"You can't water them", he said.

"That's okay, they'll be beautiful for the rest of the day".

There is so much beauty in the things of this world that are "thrown away". I hope and pray that my kids are always able to find beauty in things that are otherwise discarded and disregarded. Lord, give them your eyes and your heart!

Weeping for a stranger

2011-02-08T19:51:00.004-05:00

Dirt just walked in and found me weeping at my computer; today a stranger died.

A have been semi-following this story since December through a random FB update of a blogosphere friend:

December 7th:
For the last three weeks my heart has been gripped by Jessica’s story. A young wife, with a young son of two years and currently carrying her second. The week of Thanksgiving she went into the hospital with breathing issues. Tests revealed cancer wrapped around her throat. Due to her situation they felt they would be able to take action immediatly with treatments. However, one more test revealed the dreadful truth that the cancer was not contained in her throat, but filled her body and organs. My heart was ripped in two for this beautiful mother, her husband, her young son, her family and her unborn baby.

She is 30 years old and they were determined to share Christ and to glorify Him in the midst of the most unthinkable tragedy. I am praying that every single person she shared her faith with will know Christ.

Today she went to be with Him and tonight as I type this, I know that she is singing in heaven. Please lift up her beautiful family in prayer. Their story is still unfolding on this side of eternity.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2011-02-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

A Very Whoopie Birthday

2011-02-05T21:17:00.001-05:00

I think everyone should have a laser tag birthday party

When they turn 42.

Cause it's super-fun to be an adult and a kid all rolled into one.

Happy Birthday Bro.

The 2 1/2 Week Forecast

2011-02-03T21:50:00.002-05:00

I'm so glad God didn't send me to Iceland.

Getting into Trouble

2011-01-26T20:44:00.001-05:00

So...do you want to know what the very best Christmas gift was this year?

I'll give you a hint:

It's green and red and yellow and blue...

...and it has given us more family time and fun than any other gift under the tree...

..and it costs $10 at Wal-mart.

Any guesses?

Good Clean Fun

2011-01-22T14:32:00.003-05:00

For Christmas, my mom got me a Rumba (or Roomba?) Heck, I don't know.

It's a fun little vacuum robot thingy that sucks up all the dirt in a room and then docks itself when it's satiated.

The sucking up dirt is kinda cool.

But what's even better is the enjoyment that Maya gets from it.

Now that's some good clean fun.

I had a dream...

2011-01-22T09:47:00.003-05:00

This morning I woke up smiling and after a few groggy moments I realized why. I had spent the last few hours dreaming that B was here with us...and I wanted to give him new socks.

Dreams are funny, they're so incredibly vivid and real that you can wake up from them not fully understanding what part of what you are recalling was a dream and what was a real life memory.

So I handed him a package of new socks because he only had brought one pair with him (and they were not adequate). He told me that he was more comfortable wearing his Ethiopian socks and I needed to help him adjust by keeping certain things the same. Weird right? He would never verbalize that, but it's probably important not to try to change out a kid's socks right away...even if they're not as nice as the ones you have for him.

And there we all were, on our first day in America as a family, standing in our bedroom closet. We weren't prepared - we had to get another bed and clothes, and ADIDAS sneakers. How could we not be prepared? Maybe we were too busy shoveling through piles of paperwork and notorizing and fingerprinting and we just forgot?

I'm never prepared for anything in my dreams. I show up with the peanutbutter & bread, but no jelly. Always.

Video

2011-01-19T20:25:00.004-05:00

One of the kids' favorite things to do is to view videos of themselves. Because they enjoy this so much, I try to take videos of them from time to time to keep the supply fresh. Plus I know that a few years from now they'll love seeing themselves "younger".

Tonight I did a video interview of Amaya, then it was Amelle's turn. Ahem, sort of:

Monday Funday

2011-01-18T20:12:00.001-05:00

I am officially a part-time employee.

Which means that I have Mondays off.

Which means that Maya and I hang out on Mondays

And we do whatever we want.

Which might happen to include painting beautiful renditions of our family at the beach.

Help A Brother Out

2011-01-09T20:36:00.008-05:00

Some of you may know that Avery is coming to Africa with me next month. Actually, Avery and Dirt are coming, along with 9 other members of our church.

Not long after my first trip to Ethiopia, Avery developed a heart for Ethiopia. Perhaps he caught my heart, or maybe it was the skype calls with Solomon and B, the bedtime prayers and our family's collective cries for provision for those hurt and hungry.

Avery has been so gracious about sharing his mom with orphans. During our prayer time he often asks God to feed and protect our friends half-way around the world - and it has been his long-term prayer that God would bless our family with the gift of another sibling through adoption.

Avery regularly sees me rifling through his closet for clothes for B and is always more than willing to give his belongings away to those less fortunate. And of course, you probably remember the "Give Me Your Balls" campaign that he ran in lieu of gifts for his 10th birthday.

It is now time for him to go to Ethiopia and deliver the balls that he collected.

Unfortunately trips to Africa are not free, and we've challenged Avery to raise $1000 to fund his trip (we're footing the remainder). Avery will be using his "life savings" (birthday money he's collected since he was born), and will be raising money by collecting recyclables, holding a bake sale, and will be selling Ethiopian coffee (pre-order) - which he'll buy while in Ethiopia and deliver/send when he returns.

If you are interested in supporting Avery financially, please use the "donate" button in the side bar. Even a $5 donation would be very encouraging to him (let's put it this way: $5 = 100 cans). Also, if you would like to pre-order some fresh Ethiopian coffee, please use the "Buy Now" button on the side bar. If you're not local, we'd be happy to ship the coffee to you, we'll contact you separately with the exact shipping cost. Don't forget to specify "whole bean" or "ground".

We could also use your prayer. If you can add us to your prayer list, we'd sure appreciate it!

Thanks for your support!

Father Christmas

2011-01-07T20:35:00.009-05:00

Today is Christmas. In Ethiopia.

Earlier this week I got an email from BAM asking me to skype with him on his Christmas.

Hello sweet mom

How was the day with new year? I was very well and we were celebrate the new year with olivate church group. It was really nice. Mom I started learn language and it’s very nice I like it . I gat the package every thing is good thank you very much.Mom I want skype with you on Friday as you know Friday is our Christ mass. Mom I hope we will have nice time on February. I miss that day. I love you sooooo much!!!!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares abut you. 1 peter 5:7

Of course I have to work on Fridays and since Ethiopia is 8 hours ahead, I arranged an early (6:30a) call with him. This morning I groggily hit snooze on the alarm (twice) before realizing a had a very important date! Ten minutes late for our established chat time, I ran downstairs like a little girl on Christmas morning and logged in.

3 missed calls: 2:22am, 2:48am, and 6:22am.

It was 6:44 and I quickly typed "hi"

[6:44:36 AM] B: how are you

[6:44:59 AM] B: i miss you mom

[6:45:08 AM] The Moore Family: Merry Christmas!! Do you want to call me?

[6:45:32 AM] B: yes sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

Then the phone rang once and I saw his sweet smiling face. (and he saw my groggy morning face)

What a joy it was to skype with him on his Christmas. Last year it was a thrill for me to skype with him on our Christmas. What I found so incredibly charming was that the boys had a small (18") Christmas tree with lights. B was very happy about this little tree and delighted in showing me all the simple little ornaments that hung on it. Then he held up this one and proclaimed, "Father Christmas".

That was about the cutest thing I had ever heard.

45 days and he will be in my arms again. Christmas just keeps on coming this year!

Today was a good day

2011-01-02T21:24:00.005-05:00

Today was good. All the way around. Just good. Church was good. After church was good. Seeing Maya's joy when she lost her first tooth was good. Receiving an email from my far-away son was good. Playing basketball with Dirt and the kids was good. Going to the Wentworth for a massage with my BFF was good. Going to Target and getting fantastic rubbermade tupperware on sale was good. Winning the family championship in Just Dance (Wii) was good.
Today was just good.

Tomorrow is Monday.

I Hate New Years

2011-01-01T12:27:00.004-05:00

I know, we need years to categorize time and events. But I don't have to like it.

Here are my top 10 reasons for not liking New Years:

10) The things I need open (like the post office) are closed.

9) Today is really no different than yesterday, but because it's a "new year" it's suppose to be.

8) The stores are insane; I just need to return a few Christmas gifts - but the store traffic is prohibitive.

7) There was nothing wrong with the previous year, why do we have to change?

6) Everyone at the New Years Eve celebration in New York makes me feel like I should be happier/celebrating more - but I can't figure out what the big deal is. Why are they soooo elated? Are they all shareholders for calendar companies?

5) It's in January - it seems like it would be more tolerable if it were a summer event. Just sayin'.

4) I feel older - I'm immediately another year away from the year of my birth.

3) Am I another year older? ...or do I actually have to wait until my birthday to make this claim?

2) I am going to be angry with myself no fewer than 17 times in the next 2 months for accidentally writing "2010" in the date field.

1) Now I have to come up with some stupid resolution which I will not stick to. (file under: self-hate)

Happy New Year. Bah Humbug.

T?M

2010-12-28T21:39:00.006-05:00

Over the last few months I've been slowly de-emphasizing our old family moniker, t5m. I've taken down the big "T5M" letters in our mudroom; only the "M" survived. Tonight I changed the name of this blog (though I haven't monkied with the web address - yet).

Our very first family website was birthed in 2004. It was "the4moores.com". Simple and perfect - it rhymed and everything. I worked tirelessly on that little website. Back then, I remember thinking that blogger was sooo complicated. Creating a website from scratch was much easier. :-) However, after a friend showed me how to upload a picture on blogger, I was done. Updating a "pre-fab" blog was about 1000 times easier than updating and re-publishing my little hand-made website.

Not long after I established "the4moores.com", I became unexpectedly pregnant. Thus "The 5 Moores" was born. It was definitely a less fabulous name and since it no longer rhymed, I eventually shortened it down to just "t5m" - which became our family logo. The kids recognized "t5m" everywhere from the entryway of our home to our family beach bag.

For a short while, "t5m" even became my identity - at least in blogosphere. I didn't bother writing under my name, everything was "t5m". It was almost like I was taking a firm stance against anyone coming in or leaving our family unit.

But as the Bible says, "His ways are higher than our ways" - and His plans are better than ours. Perhaps "t5m" was a season, just like "the 4 moores" was a season. I'm not sure how many moores we'll end up with, but one thing I do know is that there is definitely "moore to love".

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. - Galatians 5:6

Basketball

2010-12-27T10:37:00.001-05:00

I can't even tell you how many basketball "appointments" are on our family calendar. I guess the best way to characterize our basketball agenda is that there are far more appointments, than time to attend them all.

Avery plays in 2 leagues, plus a special holiday team which is playing in 2 tournaments this week. Amelle has her rec team committments, and Dirt's league should be starting up in January.

Then there is the Casey-side - where Joelle is playing on her school team and her rec team, and Mina is playing on the rec travel team.

So..sometimes we play

..and sometimes we watch

it's all good.

Or family rolls strong during basketball season and it's a little slice of awesomeness.